update

Well, I guess it's time for an update.

I got back from NC last sunday night. I had a wonderful time. I wish I could have seen more people, but it's partly my fault too.

It was good to get away. I needed it.

Well, in the past week I've been back, I've worked everyday, that's good, because my last paycheck was fourty six dollars. I started talking to this guy, Jimmy, and wow. We REALLY hit it off.


I'm here sitting in my room, drinking a bottle of wine. Listening to O-Town. How pathetic am I. I'll get to why later. It makes no sense, but I'm such a dummy.

I have to work at 11 tomorrow, so I'm staying in.

Okay. for the story.

So Ben tried to committ suicide. Yes, my old roomate Ben. I can't deal with that. before I left for NC, we had a falling out, and I could really care less what happened to him. I mean of course I care, but he's such an asshole. I would rather not get into it right now, so I won't.

Work at Apple has actually been really awesome. It's like the spark is back. That's why the vacation was needed.

I'm such a lightweight. I used to have such a high tolerance. I'm only a little more than halfway done.

Anyways.

So last night, Jimmy and I went on our first date. It was the worst possible time for me, because I had NO money, just coming back from the south, and this being the beginnig of the month, so things are due moneywise. And, my paycheck was fourty six dollars, and cinema/chicago doesn't pay for another week. That's about all I had in the bank. I really wanted to go on a really nice date, like go and DO something, but we didn't. We went to a cool place to eat though. It's called the soupbox. I loved my soup. I had broccoli cheese. You can never mess up on that. I thought it was a good place, because I mean it's soup,a nd it's chilli. He got chicken and rice. I don' think he liked it. Either that, or he wasn't hungry.

OH yes, by the way, I think he's really cute. He's got a great personality, and we get along SO well.

So we went back to my house, to watch a movie. He had never seen Willy Wonka, and you know that is my favorite movie, so I wanted to watch it. Now, I watch that movie once a month. I didn't see it at all in October, (well the festival is a good reason, but still) and so I was SO excited that he wanted to watch it. You know, when someone is excited to do something that's important to you, is awesome. I mean besides the fact we have lots in common, and the same sense of humor, and such, it was awesome. So I was all into the movie. We were snuggled on the couch, and it was great. In my opinion. Then we started making out. Well, he made all the moves, which was nice for me, because I initiate things all the time, and it was nice for someone to start things. BUT, it was during WILLY WONKA! I mean come on now! I wanted to watch it! We should have put in another movie. It was no big deal, because I am attracted to him.

So we went to my bedroom, and played the movie while we made out heavily.

Maya told me not to touch his penis. I did.

BUT, neither of us came, or did we do anything major. no blowjobs, or anything. It was awesome.

he had to go, but we made a connection. I totally like him. I haven't felt like this since David, and it's different, because David and I didn't have as much in common, but it's still awesome.

Wanna know something really really really really really really really really really really really really weird?

Okay, so last night, when Jimmy was online, I was turning off my computer, and getting out of AIM and such.

Guess who was online?

David. I haven't seen him online in over a year. I haven't spoken to him in over a year. It was so fucking weird. I got a lump in my heart. Like you have no idea. Like I barely think about him, except when I go into Marshall Fields. It's like he'll always be there. It's like I'll never be over him, but I totally am. I don't know.

Anyways, so the point of this post.

So he was supposed to meet me at work.

Didn't happen.

So of course I waited an hour, and called him twice. Nothing.

So now, I'm almost done with this bottle of wine making this post, and reflecting.

When is my time coming?

it sucks.