Caitlyn is over here, as is Rohan. They are both lying in bed, ready to sleep. I will be headed there soon. I just had to write this entry before I sleep. I knew earlier, less than 20 minutes ago what I was going to say, and now, I already know it's not going to be as eloquent as my thoughts were. While in the swimming hole, the discussion got around to discrimination, and gay people, and not only gay people, but who we choose to like, love, have friendships with, whatever. I asked Caitlyn if she has a "preference" meaning racial, type, or whatsoever. She said that it doesn't matter on what a person looks like, which is totally true. I completly believe that statement. Beauty is within. I have noticed that with my friends, I don't care what they look like, and I see everyone as a potential friend. When it comes to someone that I want to have a relationship with, or make out with, it's all a physical thing. Something is wrong with that. Caitlyn said "Christopher, I think you will learn alot not just about yourself, but about everything, when you stop looknig at guys from a physical point of view, when you look at someone for who they are, and not what they look like" I instantly thought, "but I don't do that, I like smart guys" before I said something, I actually thought first. I really don't look at guys deeply. That's my problem. I only want someone because they are hot, and that's not right. I also think it's something about me too. I really like myself, and anyone that knows me can see that. I want someone like me. I think I'm hot. I don't want someone that looks like me, though. I am probablly not making any sense tonight, but I know what I want to say. I need to be true to myself and get someone that stimulates me and coplements me. Not just my looks (that didn't sound right, I already know it). I should try to pick my mates the same way I pick my friends. That's what I mean. It doesn't matter what they look like. It's all on the inside.

What a strange illusion it is to suppose that beauty is goodness.
Leo Tolstoy

There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.
Sir Francis Bacon