SHIT. Fuck. damn. OH my gosh. I am about to cry. OH my gosh. I am the dumest fucking person in the whole wide world. I think I need to move back home. My friends are going to HATE me. Shit. I can't believe I fucking did that shit.

I got high.

For the first time in my whole life. I am never doing that shit again, and that's a promise. I was totally out of control. Maybe it was all a dream. Too bad it wasn't. I know it wasn't. It was too real. I don't even remember everything that happend. Shit. I just know that I have some fucking awesome friends, if they still choose to be my friends. I was so totally out of control and obnixious. Peer pressure is a fucking bitch. Granted, I wanted to do it, but still. I was so shitfaced. I felt like I was in Donnie Darko, Waking Life, Rules of Attraction and The Matrix all at the same time. It was so weird, but it was inlike anything I've ever done before. I am in soo much deep shit. All I know is we took a cab home, and I freaked people out. Shit. I don't even know what was real, and was was a dream. I remember just wanting to go home, and waking up. If I woke up, everything would be fine. I tried to go to sleep, but I couldn't. At first, it was because everything was heightend. Except my sence of perception. I could taste everything better, and I could feel EVERYTHING. My talking was fine, but sometimes in my head, shit was just fucked up. I spilled water on myself, but I never peed on myself. I remember my pants being wet.

I WAS OUT OF CONTROL.

I don't like that feeling. At all. People were taking care of me. That doesn't happen. I take care of people. I don't get high. I'm too responsible. I just ruined my chances at everything. If Scott, Rohan, Monica, Ben, and all those people at the party never talk to me again, I deserve it.

Never Again.

Please. Where is the dark hole so I can go and hide.