I have been smiling all day. It's great to be alive. I worte the following about an hour ago at Clark's. It doesn't make alot of sense, but I don't care. I jump from point to point too, but hey if you don't like it, then look in the mirror and smile.

Wow. I just had an amazing day. Some people may not think of it as amazing, just a regular old day, but I feel amazing today. I feel like more than money can buy. My day was just incredible. I woke up early, and I called the bank, and that bad stuff'll be worked out, and my job, and my internship is solid, and I met Carson Kressley, but that's not what made my day. Those things make me smile, and that helps, but the utter feeling of being alive is just awesome.

I love being me. For the first time in a long time, I don't want to be someone else. I love my life.

Then I went to Phil's for a dinner party. I still have a crush on Phil, he's still a hot toddy, but that's not what made my night. I met some awesome people, friends of Molly and Phil; Gabe, Mark, Yucrica (I think, I can't pronounce her name) and Rainy. I got along with them just great. It's like I knew them forever! It's the circle of friends anyone would want. I'm still making my tight knit of college friends, you know, friends I can really get deep, down and dirty with, and trust them with my life. I don't have that yet. I will. I can feel it. Laura and Olivia come home in ONE WEEK! I said home. I mean back. Let's just get through this week! It's totally awesome because I got to relieve my childhood with people I totally didn't know! It's so amazing what brings people together. X-Men. We talked about X-men for well over two hours straight. Enough said. Tonight I realized that I'm growing up. Not to fast, or too slow, but I am really changing. I can feel it, and I LOVE it. Sure, I still have alot to learn, but wow, I'm really feeling myself grow, and I like the person I'm becoming. As I sit here in Clark's all alone, drinking my chocolate shake, I have a spark inside of me. It's a warm spot. No one can put it out. I can't wait to get home and type all this out. I really do LOVE this city! It's AMAZING. All I need now is for my loans to be approved. I also think I've grown spiritually. This is hard to explain, for I haven't been amongst churchgoers, or religious people, but it's that spark that just tells me to let go and let God, or let them be. Live your life, and things will fall in place. Things will happen. It's taken care of. You still have to work Christopher, but you'll be allright. Don't worry. I feel inspired to do something, but I don't know what it is. I am listening to 80's music and it rocks. I think I'm coming more into myself. I like not being tied down in a relationship. Right now, it's not for me. I want one in the back of my head, but I'm not ready, I don't think. Emotionally I am, but Mentally, I'm not. I'm not ready for baggage. I want to see where this freedom I'm experiencing takes me. I've been smiling all day. I'm not tied down to anyone here in Chicago. No one knows enough about me to know me as well as my family and Best friends. I can be who I want to be without judgement. Not saying that my family or friends judge me, becasue they don't. Laura and Olivia are the closest things I have here. I know about all these people, and thusly feel close to them, but not like CLOSE. That's the difference. I feel like I really KNOW Maya, Cristina, Alanna, Bridgette, Hannah, even Melissa, and my family. I've had some really intimate moments with all of them, and we're bonded because of that. I like that I don't have that with the people here yet. I'm not ready for that. I have had moments with Laura and Olivia, yes, but everyone else, not really. I think I'm about to become really close with my roomates. I already feel alot closer to them than some of my friends. Well they are my friends, too, but yeah. I want my friends here to continue to tell me everything, and I want everything to stay the way it is. I like not revealing my feelings to some people. I really like it. I like only to tell my best friends and family what's going on inside of me. [And all my faithful blog readers]. Well, I'm about to go hang out with Justin for a little, and then go to sleep.

I love being me!