I wrote this at home today, before I went to work, because we don't have internet anymore, because josh hasn't paid the bill.

As I sit here listening to Fiona Apple, an hour and a half before I got to work, I am going to analyze my life. It'll make me happier. not that I'm sad, I'm not. I'm just not satisfied with the way things are going. Why? I don't know.

Yeah, that's a good way to put it.

Okay. Where am I going to start?

Well first of all, I am 99% sure that I am not going to Sundance. I can't afford to not have any money when I get back from the festival. i don't want to get burned out on work though. You know? I think I want to be a waither, and work at the Apple store. That would be pretty cool, wouldn't it? I think so. I need to make more money. Well I don't really need to make more, I just need to learn how to save it. After Christmas, i won't have anything really to spend moeny on, so I'll be able to save a chunk of money. hopefully a good chunk.

School: I am going back, but I can't go back this semester. Unlike most people, i am paying for school myself, and the fact of the matter is, my parents won't cosign for loans. so I have to either get grants, or pay off a chunk at a time, but I can't start another year until the first is paid off. Being only 19, (but I feel so much older) I don't yet have any real established credit, so that's not going to get me anywhere. The government will only give me so much. I have to say here in Chicago though. I'm not moving anywhere until I finish school.

Apartment: It's fine, although I am never here. It's too far out of the way to things. That's why I can't wait to live out of downtown. Not that i hate it, it's just there's more things for me up north. It'll be eaiser up there.

Oh yes, before I forget, I must tell of my dreams last night... Well of the last coupld of nights. First of all, I had a dream about one of the guys here at Apple. At the Genius Bar. Those are the only guys in the whole store who i don't know all that well, because we don't really associate with one another. they do their things at the bar, and we do ours on the salesfloor. I mean I know a few of them, but not all 16. Well, I have had 2 dreams about a particular one I don't know. I dont' know why, because I don't know him, but let's just say that I know him in more than one way when I'm dreaming. I laugh at myself out loud whenever I see him, because I do'nt think he's that hot or attractive, but I surely do have some dreams about him. But onto my dreams of last night. Well as we all know, I have an ongoing thing for David (well not so much as it used to be, now I'm obsessed with Joe, a guy at work, but we won't go there.) who is about to go to London for the next six months, which really sucks like ass. Anyways, my dream was about him last night. I was supposed to be metting him somewhere, (don't really remember where) but I was running souper late. We would send text messages, and call each other, me always telling him of my status and ETA. Finally, I arrived, and he was on his way out, but he stayed longer just for me. Well, wel talked, and I don't really remember what happend after that, because something woke me up. SUCKS. When i went back to sleep, I was at CHURCH. Yes, we all know which one. Peace. But it didn't look like Peace. Guess who was in that dream though? Someone I haven't seen in about 2 years.

Nope, not him.

One more guess, and not Eric Hamilainen.

You'll never guess.

Okay.

JONATHAN PIERCE.

Shit. Now whod'a thunk my brain would just go on a damn tangent and dream about his ass? Shee. I didn't repsect myself when I woke up. He was still questioning his sexuality (I don't know if he was ever questioning his sexuality, but you can't get mad at me for my thoughts), and I was the one to bring him to (if you know what I mean). It wasn't a sexual dream though, get your head out of the gutter you little bloggeroo. I'd still do it, so I think. then again, I don't know if I want to see him naked. Haha. Anyways, that was the extent of my dreaming last night.

Speaking of last night, let's tell of the events which took place.

Let's start with yesterDAY, shall we? I was called into work. I went in at about 11, and stayed until three thirty. Joe was there. Aww. He's so cute. I'd like to get to know him better (if you know what I mean). I think we hit on each other discreetly all the time. Like when he comes up to the cash wrap with a customer, he'll tell them about how great I am, and not just in a nice cute way. he pours it on heavy, while winking ALL the time. He's good.

He know's I'd be blushing if I could.

Joe probably has the nicest behind of all the guys who work at the store. That's the the point of the story though. After work, me roomate Benjamin picked me up, and we strolled aroung Michigan Ave. and other shops, etc. We went to American Girl to see Kisha and Zaidy, who were just about to get off work. I remembered I promised Gera that I'd see him. I mean i did want to see him, because i needed to tell him that I can't let things between us go any further. I can't date him. He wouoldn't click with my friends, and I don't think we click. Those are two important things. So we went to dinner, and I know this is SO wrong, but I had Zaidy call me for an out. Boy did she. It was the greatest story ever told. She said her boyfriend and her just broke up, ebcause he hit her, and so forth. She had me believing her for a minute, then I remembered she didn't have a boyfriend. It was GOOD. I think Gera got a little upset, because we were supposed to go to his house and drink wine and cheese, and a little more, but I can't. I couldn't go all the way to Hyde Park, and not have a way to get back, because I have no money, besides the four dollars in the bank. I have to walk to work today, and that's awesome, because I need to loose weight anyways. That means I have to leave in about 20 minutes! shit! And I haven't even said what I wanted to say! I got back home, and it was fun, hung with Benjamin, Zaidy, Kisha, and Sarah, and fun times. I'll tell of the other things we did (in our house) later. It was Ben's idea. I had good sleep though. Amen to that.

Relationships: (shit I dont have anymore time, so i'll have to finish later) I'll keep you posted. later gator.

Oh yeah, I'm starting a production company. We're starting with plays that we've written, and we're going to put them on. That's Danielle and I's New Year's resoloution. Along with me having at least three grand in the bank by June, And all of my debt paid off by September.