If I ruled the world (which someday I will) I would make today "Thank Your Penis Day". Why? One might ask, well, let me tell you. Today, I slept through my alarm. Ususally, that's okay, because all the clocks in my dad's house are about 20 minutes fast. I don't know why, but they are. Yeah, so I woke up today at 11:30 (my dad's time). So the first thing I think is, yaay, I have twenty minutes to get ready for work by 11:35. I was unusually horny (well unusual for the past two weeks, my sex drive has been a little low). Yeah, so I think to myself, If I do a quick session, then that's plenty of time to take a shower, etc. I wasn't erect, just horny, and in the mood for release. So I begin to try to stimulate my half-flaccid penis. After about five minutes, I stop, b/c my schlong isn't getting harder. I fugure I'll just go however long my penis wants to without masturbation. I look at my watch and it was 11:30. WHAT THE FREAKING POO POO! My dad's clocks were on time all along! I was cursing at the top of my lungs, and noticed I grabbed the wrong black shirt today. Golly, this was a great day. I am glad my penis knew what time it was, and decided not to respond to my plea for rubbing one out. Yaay for penises! I was late for work, but not too late, and all was swell. I am here now, smiling, because I love my penis. THANK YOU MR PECKER!

the end.