Sometimes I hate being gay..

Well. The past few days have been nothing but eventful. Not in any big way. Last night, we had some sort of intervention/roundtable of discussion with Ben, Adam, Scott Show and I. I, of course, thought it was pointless. It really helped Adam out though. I'm just glad that he's happy, and doesn't think that we don't like him. He thought that we were talking about him behind his back. First of all, things like that can't be prevented. I mean everyone talks about everyone, whether it be bad or good. What was said, i don't really remember, because things like that don't bother me. I don't care if people talk about me behind my back. If they have beef with me, that's another thing. Ben and Adam are friends again, and since I never thought that we weren't friends, I didn't really have anything to say. I don't put all my shit out in the open. That's how I stay so calm and collected. It's not always good to let everyone know your thoughts. Some people, yes, but not the whole world. Please. My job in life is to keep the peace, and make sure everyone's happy. If you're happy, I'm happy. Everyone else is semi-ok now, excapt Scott Show. Something is there that he's not telling. He's studying to be a psychologist, so he likes to fuck with people's minds, and I really like that. I won't ever let him know what he wants. I can play mind games too. I'm good at it. Really good. I have learned from the greatest. My dad.

On another front, looks like yet another year without a valentine. This makes 20.

Scott M called me today, just to read to me about what he had written in his computer. He kept a journal when he had it working last year, during About Face. Scott is a really good writer. I wish I could write as well as he. It is crazy though when I think about it. In one year, I have gone from an immature, naive kid to a semi-mature man. Or young man. I'm not a man yet. I still have alot of growing and learning to do.

I miss home. Really bad. I don't have a dime to get back though. I should win the lottery. Or a few thousand dollars. haha. Yeah right. With my luck, I'll win a lifetime supply of debt. Haha.

There are still no boys in my circle. The longest stint of time ever. Haha. Well, maybe not ever. But I'm doing very well. I've been having some crazy dreams recently though. Even those I can't post here. Woah. Yes. They are that crazy.

Well, back to work it is. I really REALLY want a computer. I can wait until August though. Only 6 more months.