The Wiz

I'm off to see the Wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz! I hear he is a whiz of a wiz, if ever a wix there was! Because of the wonderful things he does, because of the wonderful things he does, because, because, because, because, because! Because of the wonderful things he does..........

I'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!


a.k.a.

My Bed.

Tuesday

Can't think of a better title.

I'm a little sickly. I'll get better. So we hope and pray.

I returned that software. 'twas too 'spensive. I'll get it for myself for Christmas.

I'm tired, but I'm talking online until class.

Peace.

Today is Eddie's Birthday...

The Five People You Meet In Heaven

Read it. Funny, because today really is my friend Eddie's birthday. Happy 21st.

So I have official news that Stephen only wants a "friends with benefits" relationship. Hey. At least I know. That's not going to work with me, it'll only make me like him more, and that can't happen.

Apple stock is on the rise.

That's a good thing.

I bought scriptwriting software today.

Fun times.

My Own Acronym

C	Complicated
H	Happy
R	Realistic
I	Important
S	Special
T	Tasty
O	Overwhelming
P	Popular
H	Happy
E	Enjoyable
R	Rounded

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

For the Birds

Toppins a Bag.

I love Mary Poppins.

I'm here at Apple, answering phones. It's been a while since I've been on phones. I like it. Fun times for all. Last night, I met my first trans person last night. It was very interesting. He was a girl by birth, wanting to be a man. Ethan was the name. You'll never guess how it happened:

(me overhearing a conversation)
ME: "oh wow, you're moving to London, a co-worker of mine is moving there too"
ETHAN: "yeah, alot of people say they are moving to London, but many don't ever get there"
ME: "well, she's leaving as of tomorrow, she's there."
ETHAN: "oh."
(I love putting people in their place sometimes. as our conversation continued, I found out that he/she's not moving there anytime soon either. Please.)
ME: "so why London?"
ETHAN: "well, it's hard to explain. You know, some places, you just feel at home. I can't explain it to someone who's never felt it before, but that's how I feel"
ME: yeah. I get you.
ETHAN: What's your name?
ME: I'm Christopher, and you?
ETHAN: I'm Ethan.
ME: Nice to meet you Ethan, that's awesome, I've never met a girl named Ethan before.
ETHAN: I'm actually not a girl, but whatever.
ME: (feeling stupider than cowshit) Oh I apologize, I shouldn't have assumed
ETHAN: Don't be sorry, it's okay. Thank you though...

more conversation.

What's even better, is that I introduced Helena:
Helena, this is Ethan. She--I mean He's moving to London soon.

I'm so dumb.

on with my life. So Yeah. I am going to buy some software to help me fill in holes of my screenplay. I should just ask for someone to read it, but I don't want it to be total shit. This is not the one i'm working on with Helena though. No worries.

So I'm talking to Stephen more. That's exciting, because he totally rocks my socks. Totally.

I was obsessed with him during the festival.

That's that.


Step in Time.

Tuesday

It's Tuesday.

I had a fairly good day today. I met Jean Pierre Jeunet tonight. Went to a screening of 'A Very Long Engagement'. It was awesome. I loved it. Makes me want to be in love. Then I laugh. I was thinking. Maybe I'm just not supposed to be in a relationship. I don't think about people like that. I have awesome relationships with my friends, but I just can't see myself opening up to someone like that. Hell, I barely even open up to myself.

I need to clip my toenails.

I also need to invest in a copy of Quickbooks, so I can find out where my money goes. It's pathetic that I only have $8.22 in the bank, and it's been like that for some time now. At least I know I can live without spending money. Coffee is the key. I know, it's like the most unhealthy thing in the world, but it picks you up, and curbs the appetite. It's crazy, how you can be really hungry, and a cup of coffee can make you feel like the fullest man in the world. Sometimes, I think I'm addicted. Thank God for free Starbucks. I couldn't live without them.

I was asked to work an overnight shift Thursday night. I have nothing else to do, so I said okay. It gets me better 'in' with the new visuals manager anyways, since that's where I'm looking to go, after I "train my replacement" for the job I'm doing now. I train so many people now. How does he expect me to pick one person to "replace" me. When I do, he's going to say that he/she would not suit the position, and move them up right on past me. Sometimes, I wonder what goes through his head. He's a cool guy though.

Helena and I have started a screenplay. It's actually forming really well, but I think I'm already ready to take it my own way. Somtimes, I don't think this is going to work, because, she wants to make this movie, and I want to sell it. She's totally against it. I'm totally for it, because there's no way we have the budget to make what we're writing, and neither of us want to cut it. I feel I'm going to be doing most of the writing, and being the realist. Well, at least with money.

AHH! I don't have any money! Eddie's birthday is coming up, and I have nothing to buy him. I have so many bills to pay. I need to get paid more. I need to talk to Sophia, because I think she should pay me at Cinema/Chicago. We'll see. I mean I totally got paid during the festival, and mucho. Then I went home and spent it all. Haha. I shouldn't be laughing, becaues I really couldn't afford that trip, but I had to. I needed to get away. I'm glad I did.

What else is going on in my life? My first sex column is officially out. That's aweosme. What else. I have re-evualuated the relationships with my friends, and prioritized. I am going to put the ones who try to make contact first. I should not have to go out of my way to talk to someone. When a relationship fizzles, it is not my job to put it back together. I know, that sounds crappy, but I've spent the last two years trying to do that, and I leave one person out. ME. I'm so worried about them, and other people, and fail to realize that I'm falling apart. Well not falling apart, but I could be doing much better than I am. Oh, the time, money and energy spent on drama, and stupid shit. That's okay. No more.

I'm excited to see how the next few months are going to turn out. We'll see. This and next are going to be the hardest, but when 2005 comes around. I'm a new man. Well I'm one now, but I'll be like out of money problems by the end of the year. Well at least the big ones.

So I'm happy, but it's a small happiness that I'm going somewhere, not an external one, because sometimes I feel like it's not going to be over. Look at the big picture. That's what I have to keep telling myself. don't give up.

yaay!

What else. Oh. Jimmy's a fucker. Hasn't tried to keep up with me, but that's okay. Another knot in the sheet. Even though we never did anything but make out (and I thought that was a good sign).

Well, I'm peacing out.

Just as I thought it was over...

Haha. kidding. had a review at work today. Won't say how it went. I'm not too sure of it anyways.

I'm at home. I don't have to work until 10 tomorrow. that just rocks my socks. so, i'm sitting here in my bed. I'm so tired, I just had a long day.

So I've begun chatting with david. haha. I'm such a fuck. It's like there's something in me that draws me to him. It's kind of scary.

I don't even know the point of this post.

Go see Bridget Jones 2. I love it. Well, I love her.

Amen.

On a night like this, I would just like to go to the movies and chill.

I miss Madstone.

The Year In Boys.

Summer.

My Birthday season. All the hot guys are out frolicking. Pride. Everyone's fucking. Guys glore. The season in which I get the least action, because it seems like relationships are not what folks are looking for. The time when I feel ugliest, and I don't go out much. Shorts look good on me, but my legs are too skinny. It's hot. Time for white. Don't get darker. Don't know wether or not to cut my hair. Stickiness.

Fall.

The season where I get the most dates. Also, the time when I'm most busy. School, the festival, I feel productive. Usually the time in the year when I want to secure someone, because I'll possibly have someone for the holidays. The time when fashion is at it's peak. I look the best. Jeans. Sweaters. Scarves. I feel hottest. People seek me more than I seek them. flirting is at it's peak. The time when I'm making the most money, but I have the least.

Winter.

The best season. Christmas. Snow. Fun. Hot Cocoa. Beautiful Men. I think everyone is beautiful in winter. Smiles, despite the cold. Staying in. I get tons of dates in early winter, but they usually dwindle right before Christmas, when I'm not worried about having anyone at this point, because I can't get them a gift that will mean anything, for I hardly know them. Time to spend time with friends and family. Have a blast. Get more clothes. Go to shows. Oscar movies.

Spring.

Snow melts. Spring fever. When I get the most sex, but it's all meaningless. Grades fall for some reason. Things are alive and well, but with the season change, it's hard to figure out what to wear. Bugs. St. Patrick's day, also known as the day of the hot men. Everyone is cute. A time of immaturity. Older guys crush on me during this time. When I move. Start a new year. A time of change. I usually have money this season.

Getting Back to posting

Hey.

I'm back with the posting. Work has been going really well. School's not bad. Math sucks, as always.

My column is supposed to publish this week. I'm sexcited.

I gotta go to class now.

Espanol.

Oh yes, Jimmy still hasn't called, emailed, etc. I'm done.

Bridget Jones' 2 comes out Friday. I'm looking forward to that. It's the only thing worth living for.

Haha. I'm so stupid.

update

Well, I guess it's time for an update.

I got back from NC last sunday night. I had a wonderful time. I wish I could have seen more people, but it's partly my fault too.

It was good to get away. I needed it.

Well, in the past week I've been back, I've worked everyday, that's good, because my last paycheck was fourty six dollars. I started talking to this guy, Jimmy, and wow. We REALLY hit it off.


I'm here sitting in my room, drinking a bottle of wine. Listening to O-Town. How pathetic am I. I'll get to why later. It makes no sense, but I'm such a dummy.

I have to work at 11 tomorrow, so I'm staying in.

Okay. for the story.

So Ben tried to committ suicide. Yes, my old roomate Ben. I can't deal with that. before I left for NC, we had a falling out, and I could really care less what happened to him. I mean of course I care, but he's such an asshole. I would rather not get into it right now, so I won't.

Work at Apple has actually been really awesome. It's like the spark is back. That's why the vacation was needed.

I'm such a lightweight. I used to have such a high tolerance. I'm only a little more than halfway done.

Anyways.

So last night, Jimmy and I went on our first date. It was the worst possible time for me, because I had NO money, just coming back from the south, and this being the beginnig of the month, so things are due moneywise. And, my paycheck was fourty six dollars, and cinema/chicago doesn't pay for another week. That's about all I had in the bank. I really wanted to go on a really nice date, like go and DO something, but we didn't. We went to a cool place to eat though. It's called the soupbox. I loved my soup. I had broccoli cheese. You can never mess up on that. I thought it was a good place, because I mean it's soup,a nd it's chilli. He got chicken and rice. I don' think he liked it. Either that, or he wasn't hungry.

OH yes, by the way, I think he's really cute. He's got a great personality, and we get along SO well.

So we went back to my house, to watch a movie. He had never seen Willy Wonka, and you know that is my favorite movie, so I wanted to watch it. Now, I watch that movie once a month. I didn't see it at all in October, (well the festival is a good reason, but still) and so I was SO excited that he wanted to watch it. You know, when someone is excited to do something that's important to you, is awesome. I mean besides the fact we have lots in common, and the same sense of humor, and such, it was awesome. So I was all into the movie. We were snuggled on the couch, and it was great. In my opinion. Then we started making out. Well, he made all the moves, which was nice for me, because I initiate things all the time, and it was nice for someone to start things. BUT, it was during WILLY WONKA! I mean come on now! I wanted to watch it! We should have put in another movie. It was no big deal, because I am attracted to him.

So we went to my bedroom, and played the movie while we made out heavily.

Maya told me not to touch his penis. I did.

BUT, neither of us came, or did we do anything major. no blowjobs, or anything. It was awesome.

he had to go, but we made a connection. I totally like him. I haven't felt like this since David, and it's different, because David and I didn't have as much in common, but it's still awesome.

Wanna know something really really really really really really really really really really really really weird?

Okay, so last night, when Jimmy was online, I was turning off my computer, and getting out of AIM and such.

Guess who was online?

David. I haven't seen him online in over a year. I haven't spoken to him in over a year. It was so fucking weird. I got a lump in my heart. Like you have no idea. Like I barely think about him, except when I go into Marshall Fields. It's like he'll always be there. It's like I'll never be over him, but I totally am. I don't know.

Anyways, so the point of this post.

So he was supposed to meet me at work.

Didn't happen.

So of course I waited an hour, and called him twice. Nothing.

So now, I'm almost done with this bottle of wine making this post, and reflecting.

When is my time coming?

it sucks.