Okay so too bad everyone and their mom and sister needs to go to this site.

Go now!

Then I will tell you of my night of extravagance last night :) Hehehe. I'm a bad boy.

Gay Pimp.

Wow. So tomorrow's Thanksgiving, like my second most favorite holiday, and usually I can't contain myself, because I'm so excited about the world. Well, that's not the case. I got off work early to go to the wake, but I was officially uninvited. I don't really know why, but we won't go into it.

Then, NONE and I reapeat NONE of my friends want to do anything tonight, and it's only 6. That sucks.

I have nothing to do for thanksgiving. I'm at home with myself. OH yeah, and myself.

And I lost my itunes gift certificate.

But at least I get to make Sweet Potato Pie. It's my Grandmother's recepie too.

HEY!

MY FAMILY IS COMING UP FOR CHRISTMAS! Well, at least that's the plan so far. Oh my gosh. I am so happy.

What's up!?!?!?!? Nothing much here. Christian said that ya'll are coming up!!!!!!!! i am so excited. I've already started planning what we're going to do. i'm telling ALL of my friends, and we're going to throw a party, and everything. oh my gosh! i'm going to take ya'll ALL over! I really really really hope everything works out. I'll take off like every day ya'll are here. Well not every day, but i'll make sure that ya'll will have stuff to do while I'm at work. be sure to bundle up! fun times for all! wouldn't that be fun times!? Well I have to go, becasue I'm at work. be sure to call me! AHHH!

that's the email I sent to Moma. I can't contain my excitement. I am so happy right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey. what's up?! I'm here at work, and i had to post this before I forgot.

Scott's Aunt died. That's souper sad. i don't know what to do. I mean I know I can be here fo him, but yeah. So yeah.

Yesterday was awesome, as was today. There were a little flaws, but all in all, the shoot went really well. I can't wait until we get to the editing room, to see how the shots came out. Ya know? Wowsers.

Still no men, and I'm content with that.

I miss home. I'm in the suburbs here, and I realized how much I've missed it. It smells like NC. That's weird. I forgot how much the suburbs smell different. I LOVE the way the city smells, but the 'burbs are much more relaxed. Good and bad to both. Fun times for all.

I'm feeling blah, like I want to go to sleep and stay that way for a long time, but I don' t know.

Hello!

I am having a most grand day. Most grand. I slept over at Sarah's last night, and we had a grand time. Then, we woke up and had pancakes, and boy were they scrumptious! I then went back to my apartment, changed, and walked here to Cinema/Chicago, where I am now. It's a beautiful day outside, and it's offically the holiday season. Winter is a couple days away, and I am just in a grand mood. Although this will be my very first thanksgiving without my family, which is most saddening, it will be an amazing growing experience. My first holiday season without the company of my family. Wow. I still can't get over it.

I get paid today, and Also go to Barrington to shoot my first film with a producing credit. That's exciting also. My book is AMAZING, and I'm just doing well. Second semester starts soon, and that's the only thing that's getting me down, because I need to make sure all the funds are there, so I can get everything done.

There are still no advances in the relationship department, and I don't see any coming soon. I really want to have one for Valentine's day. Well, and Christmas, but I can count that one out. I want a New Year's Kiss too. It'll be my first.

Wow. I realized, that I am making it in the City. By myself. I don't get help anymore from the parentals. That's really cool. I'm like on my own, and it's scary, but oh so exciting. There's not many people that can say that they don't get help. So far, the last three months of rent/bills/all other expenses have been paid my ME. Only me. I can't wait to get a plave in Old Town, or Lakeview. I want to live with one other person, and life will be grand. wow. I love this city.

Classical music is really getting to me recently. I haven't really listened to it since high school, and I'm addicted again.

Justin's dad bought him a computer. Justin saved up three thousand dollars to get it. He called his dad last night, and his dad said: Here's my credit card number. Keep your money. Get the computer. Spend your money on something else. I was FLOORED. wow. I mean yes, Justin NEVER asks his parents for anything, beacause he wants to make it on his own, and you know do everything without help. It was crazy. I wish my parents could do that, but they can't, and it's no big deal, because what's meant to be mine will come someday.

I look really cute today, by the way, and I saw this cute guy on the street while walking to work. I smiled.

The office is really slow today, but it's cozy, and I actually feel a PART. Ya know?! That makes me have warm fuzzies on the inside. It's amazing to see that the festival is a year away, and we are working like mad to prepare for it.

OFFICIAL DATES OF THE 40th ANNIVERSARY CHICAGO INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL:

OCTOBER 7-21.

It's cool that I get that information before anyone else. Nothing else has been decided, but the call for entries is soon, if not now. Come one come all.

I'm deciding on wether I am going to Michigan to see Melissa for Thanksgiving, or going with Meg to her house for Thanksgiving. I wish I could do both. We'll see.

I really want to dress up and go to a high class concert, like a symphony or something or a ballet, or an opera. I'm going to get tickets for myself, take myself out to a REALLY expensive resturant, and just have a great night, some night in December. I have decided.

Yaay.

Well, I should get to the post office now, and finish this small paperwork. I hope the day continues to be this grand, and I miss everyone at home so much. I hope their days are grand forever.

"Rules?.. Here are my rules: what can be done with one substance must never be done with another. No two materials are alike. No two sites on earh are alike. No two buildings have he same purpose. The purpose, the site, the material determine the shape. Nothing can be reasonable or beautiful unless it's made by one central idea, and the idea sets every detail. A buildig is alive, like a man. Its intregity is to follow its own truth, its own single theme, and to serve its own single purpose. A man doesn't borrow pieces of his body. A building doesn't borrow hunks of its soul. Its maker gives it the soul and every wall, window and stairway to express it..."

... The Parthenon did not serve the same purpose is its wooden anscestor. An airline terminal does not serve the same purpose as the Parthenon. Every form has its own meaning. Everyman creates his meaning and form and goal. Why is it so important--what others have done? Why does it become sacred by the mere fact of not being your own? Why is anyone and everyone right--so long as it's not yourself? Why does the number of those others take the place of truth? Why is truth made a mere matter of arithmetic--and only of addition at that? Why is everything twisted out of all sense to fit everything else?"

-Howard Roark, the Fountainhead

What's up?

The last 2 nights I have been at Scott's. We talk about the future alot, and where we want to move. He is totally right. We are by no means 'poor'. I mean I can't pay for school, but neither can alot of people, and yeah. I mean we are surviving an a HUGE city, and things get done. He's right. I am totally self-supportive. So's he.

I started The Fountianhead. I hope it's good.

I think I'm done with dating for a while. I should get another job. And work there when I'm not working at Apple. Something with tips.

I want to live in Old town. I think that'll be a great place for me to live. I can find someone to live there with. Maybe Jason.

Allright.

So this is what's up. I had another one of those epiphany things. So last night, I went to David's, right? Well, we had an awesome time, and we of course made out, and had fun times. As hot as he is, I know that we will never do anything ever again. Three reasons:

One: I've seen him come. there are VERY few guys who I have seen come that I still hang out with, and/or talk to. Well I talk to everyone, but as soon as they come, my attraction for them goes down the drain. Why is that? It kind of sucks. It's like David still looks REALLY good, but I no longer want him. It's like because I've had him, it's over. Ya know?

Two: He sleeps wildy. He snores too, but it's a REALLY cute snore, and it makes me smile.

Three: He's going to London for six months in January.

Although he's a cool guy, it's not gonna happen. This brings me to my self-realization. Unless the guy is like me, then I won't like him. Elaboration: I actually have to get to know someone, and let my attraction grow for them before I fool around with them, or I will only make them come, and then leave them. That's sad. Like Grant, let's say. ALthough he's straight, I would be able to call him a b/f, because I actually got to know him, before we fooled around (well, we haven't fooled around). Yeah. It makes sense to me. Maybe I'll write more on this later, but yeah.

I have to go to the movies with Jason. I haven't seen him come either, but I don't want to. Ew. That's gross. Jason is my boy to see movies with, and sometimes hang with, and talk about Justin Timberlake. Yeah, we don't have a deep relationship like that, I mean it's deep, but it's not like Monica, you know where we have those like life-changing conversations. Hot guys are nice to fool around with, but it's all about the P-Cold-Chain. That's Personality.

I have been in a great mood all day. I should tell Jason of my discoveries. I'm really excited about my film shoot next weekend too. It's going to be awesome. I need to get shit together too.

what am I about to do?

go out with David.

This is the site that I have been looking for for forever and seven days. Goodness! Jake is the MAN.

oh yes and never eat Pringles with CHewey Chips Ahoy.

you will get fat because it tastes so good.

What's up with Catherine Garlinghouse having a boyfriend, and I don't? I shouldn't be jealous though. yaay for catherine garlinghouse. ten points for becky who updates every day, and I love her. thirty points for her, bringing her total to fourty points. Apple rocks because we just got FREE iPODS. Yes. that's what I said. Free. so ha ha to everyone who doesn't work for Apple.

I want to get Josh Groban's new CD. and Steve Burns. I still need that one.

there's so much i feel i should say, but i can't find the words to say it. oh yes and don't date 45 year olds. they have HIV, and are sexually repressed. well not repressed, but they love sex from 19 year olds.

david and i should talk again. he is cool, and i am cool. cool people match. and that's that. i am souper cool. that's my new word. souper.

have a souper night. and i will see if david wants to come over and make out

Dear Future Partner-

Where are you? Please come save me from this existince we call life.

Yours Truly,

Christop.

Why is it that all of the guys here at work that I think are gay, and I have a chance with, are all hot, straight, and have wives/fiancee's?

I don't want to write this at work, so I'll be short.

I'm really tired

But I had the BEST sleep ever.

it was amazing.

I must clock in now, and when i get home, hopefully, i will be fit to write about my crazy night of last.

today is Christian's birthday. wow. she's 17. It's like yesterday when I was seventeen. She really is growing up. that's scary.

mark called me this morning at 6:40. It was quite crazy, but i didn't mind one bit.

I feel really good, and fairly rested. Last night, I went to Monica's Halloween party. Since Halloween is her favorite day, I decided I wouldn't be a punk like all the rest of my friends, and actually go. I had a blast. I bonded with my roomates, Justin and Ben more, and Ryan came, which made Monica happy also. At first, the music sucked ass, but I changed that. I had to go into my stash of CD's that I brought, and we turned that party OUT, especially when Michael was played. Yes, Jackson. Everyone knows he can get any party started, because as much as people hate him, EVERYONE will dance to his damn songs. We had some hip hop music playing first, and thaty turned some people out onto the dance floor, but not enough, so we played some Rap, then some R&B. When those were dying down, we dicided THRILLER was the only one out. EVERY DAMN PERSON came out onto that floor. That party was packed.

It was one of the first parties I went to (this semester) and stayed COMPLETLY sober. Not alcohol, pot, extacy, crack, or herion. Well I don't do it anyways, but I just had to qualify that there was no an ounce of harmful substance in me. I was high on life. It was amazing. Our cab driver rocked. He got a big tip. Ryan was super horny, and we were about to go at it, but I didn't. I resisted. Ryan needs a friend, not a fool-around buddy. I was happy at myself this morning. As much as Monica wanted us to hook up, we didn't. I'm so proud of myself. And Besides, someone else is in the runnings.

I need to take a shower so I can go to work. I have to be there in 45 minutes.

My dreams were weird. The first was about how I started to lose my hair. It was all one one strand, and it just started coming out. At first, there was a little hair in my mouth, so I pulled it out, then it got longer, and I noticed i was pulling out my own hair. I could FEEL IT. My head was bleeding, and I had no hair. It was so weird. Another dream was about the inner place you go to when you're high. Kind of like the 'cave' in Fight Club. It was crazy. can't explain it now, shower is calling. literally. It knows my name now, and can talk. I have taught it well. Otherwise, I'd not take one. The shower has to call me, or I won't want to take one. Who needs showers?