Sorry

Sorry for not posting the long update as promised. It is on the way. First of all, I must tell of my day.

9:45- I wake up. Since I took a shower last night, I just got ready to go to work. Drank a glass of OJ and a glass of water

10:00 Got ready more.

10:15 Left my house to go to work. I had to be here at 11, and so 45 minutes on the train is nothing. it usually takes me 10 to 15 minutes to get here to work. The plan was to take a bus/train, and then get a cup of coffee before work.

10:25 No bus has come yet, and I don't want to walk to the train, so I took a cab.

10:30 I should be at work by now. But no. Guess what's going on? Yes. None other than the

SHAMROCK SHUFFLE.

Fucking Marathons.

10:45 still waiting in traffic.

10:50 I ask for another route.

10:55 We have to take Lower Wacker.

11:00 Still on lower wacker.

11:03 I make it to work.

11:04 I can't clock in, because I have to change my password

11:08 finally clocked in.

Damnit. After I JUST had a talk with my managers on how I can't be late anymore.

It's a BEAUTIFUL day outside too.

what a great start to my day.

LINUS!

You are Linus!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Coming soon...

The Update of the century.. stay tuned.

Da da da.

Last night was a bummer, but not a loss. I went in expecting the wrong things, and I found out alot of things also.

But let's start with today. I am so tired. I am doing my best to not drink coffee, and the only other thing we have that's caffienated here in the office is none other than...

Diet Coke.

Oh yes, that's my drink of choice. Hell, I need to lose weight anyways.

I also need a shower. I didn't get one today, because I was at Jared's last night. Why was I at Jared's? He invited me over. Since I gave up masturbation for lint (I don't even practice lint, but why the heck not) I have been a souper horny boy. I was even considering losing my virginity to him. Highly considering it. That was before I went over to his house. I got to his apartment, and he was working on a housewarming gift for someone. I complimented it, because I'm a nice guy, and because it kicked ass. Then he had to do laundry. Laundry. It's almost like saying there's chocolate to eat. Somthing I can't resist. It's one of those things I love to do, but I don't do it often enough myself. I had an EXTREME amount of fun doing laundry with him. I even taught him how to fold his clothes. It was nice. Then we did a whole lot of nothing for a while, then i went to sleep. As did he. Right next to me. We didn't do a thing. I was about to give myself blue balls. OH yes, there was one thing that stayed consistient all night. That was Corey. The topic of Corey in general. Turns out, Jaredd must like him. Every 20 minutes the conversation somehow got back to Corey.

Let's re-cap:

I went to Jared's, expecting some kind of release (if you know what I mean)
I ended up doing laundry
and talking about the guy who knew I liked Jared, but fooled around with him anyways, on more than one occasion hard core.
ALL NIGHT.
It's okay though. at least now, when I woke up, i felt nothing for him outside of a friendship.


we can guess how I'm feeling today.

St. Patty's

Today it St. Patrick's Day (one of my favorite holidays) and it's snowing. Hopefully it's the last one of the year. Knock on Wood.

Last night, I decided three things.

1. I need to stop being a slacker, and get all of my shit together.

2. I am going to start making a video journal and put everything I think about everything in it. Like a documentary on my life, with my commentary. I'm going to take it everywhere. Well not everywhere, but Yeah.

3. I'm going to join a volleyball team. I need to get back in shape, and I love volleyball, so I'm sure I can find something right? I have to stop drinking coffee, and I have to get away from going out every night. The excercise will give me more endorphins, and thus help me get things straight.

Sorry..

Sorry for the lack of updates. I've just been living my life. Can't really say anything important is going on. Something really interesting happened to me last night. I totally got over Jared. I realized he's just going to be a friend. I totally don't see him as anything else. I mean of couse the past couple of days I have said I was over him, but last night, it was done. Just friends. We were at a party last night, and there was quite a charatcer there. I had met him earlier that day, when Eddie and I were out job hunting (well I was just going for applications with Eddie, I am in no way shape or form looking for another job), and we met up with Jared, Rochelle, and him. I won't say his name, because I would be embarassed, and I don't know him. We'll call him Alex. Haha. Yeah. Well, he was hitting on Jared all night, and Jared, obviously not interested, talked to him anyways, beacause that's how nice of a guy he is. Alex, the entertainment of the evening, got more wasted as the night carried on. Pretty soon, he was so much on Jared, it was beginning to get scary. Jared wasn't getting the advances, until it was too late. Alex became belligerent, and continued to scream "You think I'm Ugly, don't you Jared!" I can't say that Alex is the most attractive guy in the world, but neither am I, so I won't diss his looks. Jared, who dug himself into a hole filled with shit, didn't know what to do. Of course, here comes Christopher to the rescue. I have to bail friends out when they need it. That's my MO. It was at that exact time when I realized I was over him. I wasn't jealous of Alex at all. I just wanted to help out a friend indeed. In fact, now that I think about it, I was pressuring Corey all night to get with him more. It's what Jared needs. He's not sure of where he stands, and he needs to experiment with someone who thinks of sex the same way he does. Everyone is at different points in their lives, and there's nothing we can do about it, but help them with their problems. Jared wouldn't make a good boyfriend for me anyways.

The rest.

Oh shit. My friends think I'm a nerd. I found out that one of my best friends, whom I love dearly, many of my other friends hate him, and would rather not see him again. That was a shot to the heart. Damn. What else. My friends think I'm a nerd. I mean damn. We're supposed to be throwing a surprise party for Scott, but Kate doesn't want to have it at her house anymore. What am I supposed to do with that? We have been talking about this shit for over a month. No make that two. I already bought a keg, and was planning on buying another. Yeah. So now, I'm supposed to have it at my apartment building, in my house, while two of my roomates are out of town. Fun times. OH yes. What else!?!?! Well let me tell you. So I was supposed to go into work today, and they sent me home, because we were overstaffed. I NEED THOSE HOURS!! It sucks!

Deja Vu..

Helena says that when you have Deja Vu, it means you're supposed to be in that particular place at that particular time. Even if it's a scary Deja vu...

I had Deja Vu four times yesterday.

It started as a great day. Grant was leaving, (that's not the great part) but we had just spent three amazing days together. All of the group was there, and Scott turned 21, things were just going awesome. We went from Scott's back to my place, to wait for the time he had to leave. People came over to bid farewell, and we watched some Sex and the City. Fun times for all. Smelly got off of work, and asked to come over. I said sure. Smelly wanted me to see the new place we're all moving into. Grant left. We went out to the place. It's awesome. I can't wait to live there. I hung out with Smelly and T. Helena called. She wanted to go to the Royal. I said okay, as long as we got trashed first. Scott and Eddie didn't want to go, they went to see Passion of the Christ. That's okay. They needed time alone and together. We got beer. I called Corey. Corey didn't want to come, but I made him. I called Jared, because he's a really cool guy who needs cool people like us in his life. haha. Kidding. I like(d) Jared. Yes like that. In that way, like I could see us together. I mean he's smart, attractive, has an incredible smile, and he's nice. If nothing else, he'd make a great friend (which is what we're going to be from here now on). Well, we drank at jared's. Corey and Jared hit it off. I was happy. My friends like him. That's a good thing. Adam called. I told him to come out. He wanted to. We got buzzed and picked him up. Went to the Royal. I didn't look at a single guy. We just danced our asses off. It was awesome. Back to Jared's after the Royal. Corey was going to leave with Helena when she left, and I was to hang out with Jared, and help him finish his homework. Corey stayed. I got tired, so I went to the bed (studio apartment), and rested, still 100% aware of what was going on. Corey and Jared fooled around. Then they got in the bed. I was wide awake the whole time. I will not reveal the details of what happened, but we can just say I heard everything. I couldn't muster up the courage to look. A few times, they (well mostly jared) tried to get me involved. That was not happening. I feigned sleep. The unimaginable happened. You can guess what that was. I had nothing to do but send text messages to my friends, telling them what was going on. I wanted to leave, but that would imply that I heard everything. I wanted to say something, but that would be outside of my limits. They are people, they can do whatever they want.

It's all just another example of how I'll be single the rest of my life. When I introduce someone to my friends, they end up doing things. I'll continue to do it, but it sucks.

That's great. Deja fucking Vu. I was supposed to experience that mess.

That's only a fraction of the shit that's going down.

Hmmm.

Last night was great. Although my luck with guys is the WORST, I still had a wonderful night. I have a problem. I like guys who don't like me back. I mean we can and will always be friends, but it's not the same. It's okay though. I'll survive. I've survived 20 years already. Fun times for all.

It's time for a full-fledged update though. I'll do one soon.

Sad Times.

I shouldn't be writing this while I am tipsy. Well, this is the news. I will never in my life have a boyfriend. Haha, Well I didn't mean to say it like that. Today is Ben's birthday. Happy birthday to my roomate. He is cool as hell. Anyways. So ALL of my friends always like the boys I like. What is wrong with me that I can't get a guy?! People bring people to meet me, and it still doesn't work. Anyways. More power to my friends though.

Quote of the Day

"He likes his coffee just like he likes his men-- Sweet and light-colored"

-Kyle Lemiux

Sound Of Silence...

Hello darkness, my old friend,
I've come to talk with you again,
Because a vision softly creeping,
Left its seeds while I was sleeping,
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone,
'Neath the halo of a street lamp,
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking,
People hearing without listening,
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dare
Disturb the sound of silence.

"Fools" said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you."
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning,
In the words that it was forming.
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets
are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls."
And whisper'd in the sounds of silence.

Good Fight

"Sen. John Edwards will withdraw from the presidential race early Wednesday Morning, sources tell CNN."

--It's ok Mr. Edwards. You fought the good fight. I'm still behind you.

Sad Times...

Okay. My site is back. Last week I had a freak out session, and was thisclose to deleting it. Now only those of you who already know the site will be able to read it. Long story. Oh yes, and I may start using pseudonyms. That's for protection of Smelly.

Well, let's start with today. Ben left today for the Coast Guard. I don't know what more to say. Ben was the very first person I met when I moved to Chicago. Sure, we've had our ups and downs, but more ups than downs. I love him so much. I owe him everything that I have here in Chicago. I mean wow. I don't know when I'll see him again. I mean damn. I've been pretty sad today. I was supposed to turn my phone back on today. I didn't feel the urge. I don't really want to talk to anyone today. Right now I feel really alone, although I know I'm not. I'm entitled to feel like that though. I mean my best friends are in NC, and the ones I have here, I feel like I'm drifting away from.

Scott: I should say Scott and Eddie, since Eddie's been back, they have been unseperable. I mean I know they are a couple, but if I am ever in a relationship where I can't exist without my counterpart, something isn't right. One more reason to be single.

Eddie: See Scott. I haven't even gotten the chance to hang out with him one on one.

Smelly: Love to death, but sometimes I feel there are things I can't tell

Rohan: Things between him and I are interesting. We're both different people than we used to be. I love him to death, don't get me wrong, but we don't click like we used to.

Zaidy: Ever since she started dating Justin, she's become estranged. She's happy though, so I won't knock that. She needs to be happy. She deserves it. Justin is a great guy.

Sarah: She's very understanding, but I know there are things I can't tell her, because her and the girls are really close, and things will get out to certain people (my roomates) that I don't want them knowing.

Danielle: With Godspell, her Dance group, and school, she's a very busy lady. Not to mention tired.

Kisha: Same with Danielle, and Kisha has a job on top of that.

Laura: She's souper bogged down with School, and she's been really sick. Not to mention stressed. And she's in Evanston.

Olivia: See Laura, minus the sickness, and add a job. And Evanston.

Those are all of my best friends here, and I just feel like I can't tell anyone anything. Ben's life is the only person who is as fucked up as mine, and he knows how to tell it like it is. I LOVE that about Ben. He will always tell you the truth abot anything. I have NO one who will do that for me. You know, be as blunt as possible. No sugar coating. I know Ben is honest, and upfront, and I just feel like a bug chunk of my life here in Chicago has been cut out.

That's it.

Oh yes, for an update in the 'dating' scene. It's been a crazy ride. Okay.

So we all know Jared. I've seen him the last two days in a row. I went to a 'gathering' with him last night, and had fun, but realized that he's a very eccentric person, and that he's cheated in every relationship he's been in. Not saying I want a relationship with him, but it makes me think. He's super nice, and he's gorgeous, and he's got a charisma about him that everyone has to like, but still there's something I can't put my hand on.

Then there's Kevin. yes, the one whose name I got wrong, and called him Devon. Well, as he's a really cool guy, and he'll fit in with my group of friends, I did make a mistake. I introduced him to my friends before I got to know him. I mean, he met my friends before I decided if I liked him. Saturday night, I took everyone out to dinner (well I didn't pay for EVERYONE, but still), and kevin was at work across the street. I told him to give me a call, and he could join up with us for our post dinner festivities. He called, and brought 2 friends. Granted we were all a little toasted, Saturday night sealed the deal. Whenever I introduce guys to my friends, they always end up liking my friends, thus, only becoming friends with me. That's fine, but it sucks sometimes. At least my circle of friends grows.

Phil.. he's my text message buddy. Wish it were more, but our lives just don't have the room or time to coincide with each other.

That's that for now.