test

Test

test

That's what friends are for?

Scenario:

Eric and Steve have been dating for almost 8 months. Eric has been away in the air force for the past 4. They let him out, and he was due back this week. Carl and Brent are best friends with Eric and Steve. Eric and Steve tell Carl and Brent that Eric is coming back in town on Thursday. Every person in the world, except Carl and Brent, knew Eric was coming back on Tuesday. Why weren't carl and Brent told this news? No one knows. it doesn't make any sense. The kicker of the story is this: Brent leaves town Friday. Brent came up with an idea that Eric and Steve should be notified that he was leaving today. Both were text messaged. Eric called back, still pretending he was in Texas in the Air Force. He made no effort whatsoever to come and wish Brent off, or even say goodbye. KNOWING he was here in Chicago. Steve never called or text messaged back. Gary, a friend in Kansas City, was kept up to par with everything that was going on. He thinks it's bullshit too. Gary knew Eric was back in town, and doesn't understand why Carl or Brent was notified. Brent is hell-bent on never talking to Eric or Steve again. Their friendship is over in his eyes.

Wow. It's wonderful when you find out how really valued you are to your friends.

What Kind of Wings are You?

You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

Oh plans!

I love making plans. So they can all get

RUINED.

Haha. It's all good though. So the original plan was to go to Meg's house for her and her sister's 80's party. It looks promising. Scott, Ben and I were all going to go. OH yes, Eva too. I went to work today, and called everyone to make sure we were still having fun times tonight.

Scott is going with Eva to an 80's party at the Metro. 10 bucks a pop.

Ben is going to Adam's for a gathering at his place.

Rohan is going to a party with Dave.

Jenelle is going out with Jesse (I already knew that. That's a good excuse, because he's HOT. DAMN)

So that leaves Christopher with hmmmmmmmmmmm...

Meg's by his self. No offense, but the folks at Meg's are cool, but they have ALL known each other since high school, and they've all graduated college and have real jobs now. Yes, they are my seniors. Although I can hang with them all night, it's like I'm out of place. Sometimes they treat me like I'm an outsider. Yes, I don't know Meg as well as all of them, but we've a bond like she does with everyone else.

So I might stay in tonight.

Jenelle just called me, and she wants me to go out with Scott and Eva. I don't know. Jared will be there. Hmmmm.... We'll see. It's only 8:15.

Lalala

:)

Whew!

After a long night's work at Apple, the work has been completed. We are on out way out. Ben didn't go over Jared's. Jared is supposed to call me back, if he goes back to his house tonight, which is highly doubtful. Sad. This means I have to waste $1.75 getting home, which will take forever, and wake up in a couple of hours just to come back to this side of town. I know it's not that far, but it's $3.50 I could have saved on my train card. Damn. I could call Hudson... that's a thought. He's DEFINATLEY not up though. I should have thought about it earlier. Damn. My fault. It was fun here at work though. that's good.

Ok. Later gator. I am tired.

Ok... Now this sucks.

So get this. As we all know, of recent, I have had my eyes on a certain person, Jared. Well, I'm working an overnight shift tonight here at apple, 9P-5A, and I was going to ask him if I could crash at his place, for 2 reasons: One- He's RIGHT around the corner. Two- I have to be at a screening tomorrow morning at 10AM. Thorne Auditorium is right around the corner too. No, before you even think, I wasn't going to do a damn thing with him, because I'm not like that. I have self control nowadays. Well, all day, a certain person (who happens to be one of my best friends) Ben, was trying to get me to NOT go to Jared's tonight. He says I would fool around with him. No. turns out, he had alterior motives. After finishing up with his BOYFRIEND (who he's going to break up with tomorrow) he wanted to go to Jared's.

OUCH.

FUCKING OUCH.

His reasoning. He's leaving next week.

BULL SHIT.

So he used MY phone to call Jared, and ask him what's up. His answering machine picked up. Thank the Lord. Ben's going to call me to see if Jared calls back.

I can't believe that he wants to get with a guy that I'm trying to see. Fuck that. I mean ever since Ben has MET jared, he's liked him, but that's been ONE time. I've been hanging out with him. Ben KNOWS I like him. He just keeps saying "Jared's not your type, he doesn't want a realationship" Trying to pull psychology shit on me. That doesn't work on me buddy. I knew the real truth. Why couldn't he just admit it? he likes Jared.

I don't know what else to say right now. We'll have to see what Jared says.

In the tunnel...

I'm on the train... I'm in the middle of the tunnel.... I can't see the light just yet, but I know I'm slowly progressing.

I have to take it day by day.

I'm feeling better every minute. I went to Jared's after work. I have to admit, I had fun. I'm slowly uncovering him. Bit by bit. After I eat these Ramens, I'm going to bed, because I have a long day tomorrow. Screening at 9, then work. Then back home. Fun times for that I guess. Right?

Oh yes.

On the Bright side/ Things I need to do to save money.

So about that post last night. I really was feeling like that. After a good night's rest, I have decided to put my head on my shoulders, and set things straight. After having a real heart to heart with Danielle, She helped me to realize that I am not alone. Other people are in my same prediciment, and it's okay. I'm only 19, trying to live like a 25 year old.

I think I am going to move out of my apartment. I have to talk to my roomates first, and find another apartment. I can choose one of the following:

~They have to agree to pay my share of the rent
~I can pay a certain amount a month, and they pay the rest.
~I can get a subletter.


I don't know. I'll prob, stay. Depoends on what I can find on Craigslist.

I have $600 to pay by Feb. 29th.

I make too much fucking money to not have any. I don't know where it all goes, but it goes somewhere. There's NO reason that I should be like this. I need to get my act together.

Where does all of my money go? That's what I was wondering. I got up early and made a list of things I spend my money on. Here's the list

THINGS I NEED TO DO TO SAVE MONEY:

STOP TREATING MY FRIENDS. I spend about half a paycheck if not more on taking my friends out to dinner, or getting them things. If I don't do this, they will still be my friends. I know I LOVE doing it, nothing makes me happier, but I have to stop.

STOP TAKING CABS. Too much money. Period.

STOP SMOKING POT. Although I rarely buy it, I need to stop.

STOP DRINKING. Same as above.

STOP EATING OUT. Especially at work. I should just bag my own lunch. There's nothing wrong with that at all.

KEEP MONEY IN THE BANK.

Pay my DAMN BILLS ON TIME

STOP SHOPPING WITH MY FRIENDS. I can go, but I can't buy. Not until I get my shit together.

GET A SECOND JOB. If I want to keep living the lifestyle that I do, I need to be able to suppoert myself, and go to school at the same time. Maybe I could be a waiter a couple of nights a week. Then I could have some cash. Gotta find a good nice cute place though. I'll do that tonight.



Well, that's that. I have work in a couple hours, and I'm ready. Today is the first day of my new life. I'm pumped.

...

i don't know what to say. My day has been filed with mixed emotions, and realizations. Jenelle and Ben have finally made me realize that I really am depressed. I don't know why though. I mean I can sleep all day, and I don't really feel like I have anything to wake up for, except work. I can't pay my own rent, and my rent manager is up my ass. No guys like me. I even stopped looking. After today, I realized that guys think I'm hot, but they don't want to do anything but get with me. I mean it feels good that they like me, but it's shitty that nothing more. I just want to go to fucking sleep. It feels like I don't have a care in the world when I'm asleep. I have stopped smoking pot. I don't know why, but I know it's not the root of my evils. I should stop drinking too. I mean I dont' drink much at all, but still. Whatever.

My time with Phil went REALLY well. I like him. I know it. I know it should start as friends first. and we did talk for two hours straight. Just talking. About nothing. It was awesome. Then my time with Jared was eventful, but he doesn't know what he wants. It's NOT a relationship. His friends Rochelle really likes me, I can tell, but that's the story of my life. I haven't yet met a person who hates me. That sounds stupid and pretentious, but it's the truth.

I don't know how to save money. I fucking blew so much money in 2 days. How the fuck does someone manage to do that? It's fucking stupid. It feels like everyone around me has their shit together, but me. I can't get anything straight. Even my own life. I want to do so much in life, but I can't even get my priorities straight.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?

I don't even know what I want out of life anymore. It's like everything seems so far away. I mean I get in moods where I want to work, but things get in the way. Maybe I need to get new friends. No. I don't know.

I had to FORCE myself to eat tonight. It was weird I didn't even eat my fries. From CLARKS. I LOVE Clark's Fries. That is a problem.

Let's talk about Jared. Think of this. A really really really cute guy with good intentions, but he doesn't know what he wants. He doesn't want a relationship, but he doesn't want to fool around... he doesn't know if he likes boys or girls.

My Valentine's day sucked. Duh. We all knew that. I have NEVER had a good Valentine's day.

I want to SCREAM.

I want to CRY

but that would involve letting go. I don't know how to. I'm serious. I don't know how to let go of things in my life.

My friends are not the same. Maybe it's me. I feel like I'm not the same around them anymore. I don't know. I need to let things go. I can't. I don't want people to know how much shit I'm in. This is nothing.

why is it that I can't find anyone to tell all of my shit to? I feel that if I open up, I'm vunerable. I can't risk that.

My whole life I have always been what people want me to be. My whole life is a front.

I feel like I always need to be happy, because no one needs another sad person in their life. I have to be optimistic. That's not real though.

Sometimes I wish I could just wake up out of this dream we call life.


Goodnight. Better read this one quick, because it's not going to stay up here long.

Happy Valentines Day.. Yeah.

It's here. My least favorite "holiday". Yaay. I have so much shit to do too. Oh yes. I found out I am scheduled to work tomorrow when I took off all weekend. This makes alot of sense doesn't it? I should just go into work. That means I can't go on my date. Shit. I knew some stupid shit would come up. AHHH! Sometimes I just want to scream. More about this later. Long night last night. No sleep. I hate not having money too. Help me out here. Someone throw me a lifesaver. I'll make a big post tonight. Or later this afternooon.

Back to Reality

Okay. I need to come back to reality. I'm keeping my blog on here. I don't care who reads it. It's my life, not yours. I mean I put what I'm feeling at the time. It doesn't mean I mean it. I mean I mean it when I said it, but not now. I don't go back and edit, and I won't. I'll take my site off before I re-edit. So Yeah, if you read it, then you do. Sometimes I'll leave out names, but I'm not taking it off. Sorry. I still love each and every one of you!

OH SHIT

oh my gosh! i just realized. It's friday the 13th. oh shit. I used to LIVE for these days. I LOVE Friday the 13ths. More than Halloween

Oh yes

I want to go through and title all of my posts. So whenver you want to reference my blog, pleases refer to the title. Thanks.

Private Blog?!

Oh yes, by request, I have decided to make my blog private. If you want to be one of the viewers, please make a comment, and I will un-restrict your name. Either that, or I will have to resort to using code names. I want everyone to read this, but I can't go and be a gossip queen. That's not fair to my friends. I'll leave this post up for a few days, to get a full cycle of readers. If you skipped this post, that sucks when this page is no longer viewable. Thanks.

Email to...

Wow. Thanks for the email. It's been a while. A long while. It's awesome to finally hear from you. Where were you when I came back after the summer? I tried to call you so many times, and the emails. Haha. It's no biggie. I understand. You have a life. As do I. Mine just consists of relationships. I aspire to know as many people as possible. I hate cutting people out of my life. I know, it was probably too much of a hassle to deal. It's all good. I don't want to sound mean in any way. I'm not mad, upset or anything. Please don't take offense to that.

On with the email. You're right. There are so many movies that we can discuss. I LOVED Big Fish for starters. The story alone was amazing. Not to mention BillY Crudup. I think it was a great film that has been overlooked. Like many of Burton's other films. I hated Lost in Translation. I don't want to get riled up about it in this email, but yeah. I thought the best part of the whole movie was Giovanni Ribisi. That's not saying much. The performance of Charlize Theron in Monster was remarkable. I cried at the end. I don't know why, but I couldn't contain those tears. I guess I have myself been pretty emotionally distraught. I don't have time to do anything anymore, aside from text message. Hell, it's taken me this long to reply to you, somthing I would normally do in a heartbeat.

It's awesome that you finally decided to apply for graduate school. I remember you were on the fence for so long when we had our 'weekly phone conversations'. It's quite awesome to see the different ways that everyone takes. I know you'll be successful in all you do, so you needn't worry. It's okay that you used that email as a vent for your emotions. You have to get them off of your chest somehow. You can always call me if you even want to talk about anything. I'll listen. That's a promise.

Things for me have been busy, but fun. Between school, work, my internship, and writing, I don't have much time for anything else. This semester, I'm at Harold Washington College, taking all of my General Education classes. I figured it would be better to pay $900 than $8000 to take classes. I'm taking 18 hours, every day from 8-12:30, then I work every weekday from 1:30 until close, except on Wednesdays and Fridays, where I intern at Cinema/Chicago (we put on the Chicago International Film Festival, and other various film-related events in the Chicagoland area). I work at Apple, the biggest store in the country. It's a great job. I love it. With the track I'm on now, I will hopefully be done with my undergrad two weeks after I turn 21. That is if I go over the summer, and take 20 hours. I can do it. I'm more than halfway done after this semester. There are times where I get really tired, but I can deal with that. I'm moving in by myself in a couple of months. I'm so excited. It'll be the first time I'll be on my own since I was born. I've always shared a room since the womb. Even now. I can't wait. My own place. I'll be able to do whatever the hell I want. That's exciting to me.

As you can see, there's not been too much room in my life for boys. Although the year I have been here in Chicago, I have grown alot, and I can honestly say that this city really has changed me... er I've changed by living in this city. I'm so thankful for every person, and situation I have encountered. I would love a valentine, but it's not going to happen. This makes year number 20 I've been without, but it's not hard, because I'm not looking for a boyfriend. If one comes along, then so be it. I am not going after another guy. If someone is interested, then they'll tell me. I'm tired of being the lion. If I put all the effort I used to put in trying to get a man into other areas of my life, I will be a much more productive person. All those man hours wasted with my mind locked on finding the sweetheart of my dreams. It's okay. I'm a new guy now. I can experience so many more things in my relationships with my friends anyways. Who needs a significant other when you have good friends whom you can share everything with?

You say things happened that knocked things off course. What better than to get back on track? You're a really cool guy as well. It would be awesome to talk to you again. Let's allow this to be a start.

I shall go. I'm home on a friday night, and my friends are trying to rush me out of the door. Anyways, I hope to talk to you soon!

Later gator

~Christopher.

Yesterday...

Number one thing I miss about North Carolina.

Waffle House.

No just kidding.

So yesterday.... (all our troubles seem so far away)

I went to my internship, at Cinema/Chicago, and it was fun, as it always is. Fun times for all. Oh yes. I was waiting for Jason to give me a call, because we were to go hang out. I went to Room and Board, where I decided I want my whole apartment furnished with stuff from there, but it'll never happen, and looked around for a good hour or so. I then went into the biggest Apple store in the country to get my schedule, which still has problems, but those will get worked out. On my way out, still waiting for Jason, I made a spur-of-the-moment decision to go to Crate and Barell, because I was in the homey mood, and still waiting for Jason. Well, on my way out of the store (I totally shouldn't be writing this, because i'm jiinxing myself), Nicole, one of my co-workers, was chatting on with this rather dashing looking lad. She was trying to give him directions to Comp USA. To an ordinary person, these directions would not be hard at all, but this particular chap was a newbie to the Great City of Chicago. So I, the nice, chicago-familiar guy I am, offered to take him to Comp USA. I didn't have anything to do but wait for Jason, right? So what better than to escort a youth of my age to a competitor's store. We talked the whole time. I mean no awkward silences, and we just had a jolly good time. talk about fun times. We then exchanged numbers, because I told him he was more than welcome to come out to Scott's last night (we were all over there). He had to decline, but it was cool. I didn't really expect him to accept. After Jared (that's his name.. pretty hot huh?) and I parted ways, Jason called, and said he was right around the corner. Perfect timing huh? It's almost like it was supposed to happen. Haha. yeah right. Whatever. But anyways, Jason and I drive back to his house, got some clothes that he wanted to return, returned them, and then came back downtown. We didn't know where we wanted to eat, so we just parked, and let our conciences be our guides. We went to Barnes and Noble on a whim, because Jason had to pee, and we were cold, and guess who we saw? Of course. None other than Kevin. The boy whose name I switched with Devon. Haha. I am so funny. I saw him and about busted out in my pants laughing. After Jason sent a text message to his boyfriend in Tongali, we went across the street to a place called RA. It was THE BEST SUSCHI I have EVER had in my LIFE. Wow. I think it's my new favorite place to eat. Not to mention EVERY guy that works there is HOT. Everyone who works there is hot. Damn. If you are in a city, and you see a RA, go. You have no other option. Damn. 'Twas a good sensation in my tummy. Yaay for that.

Then we got trashed at Scott's. Everyone came to my house afterwards. Scott wasn't in the best mood, so we left him there, to sleep. It's okay. We all get like that sometimes. Nothing wrong with that. We still love him.

This morning i woke up, did the dishes, and came to work, which is where i am now. Danielle's birthday is today, and we are going to throw her a party. Fun times for that.

Aww. Eddie!

Whaa hoo! what's up? I just got off of the phone with Eddie. I realized how much I really do miss him. He's such an awesome guy. Scott is so lucky to have him. And vise versa. They are both so great. Those are my boys. I love them. I want a relationship like they have. Aww. It's okay though. Singleness isn't bad. It's actually treating me well.

I'm about to go to Apple to pick up some shirts for kate. Well the old ones, that I have in my locker. Then, off to hang out with jason, if he ever calls me, then to Scott's to have fun times with Jenellers, Ben, Eva, and others, hopefully.

later gator.

Oh yes, and I have a pseudo-date on Sunday. More details to come. Don't want to say too much before then.

Sometimes I hate being gay..

Well. The past few days have been nothing but eventful. Not in any big way. Last night, we had some sort of intervention/roundtable of discussion with Ben, Adam, Scott Show and I. I, of course, thought it was pointless. It really helped Adam out though. I'm just glad that he's happy, and doesn't think that we don't like him. He thought that we were talking about him behind his back. First of all, things like that can't be prevented. I mean everyone talks about everyone, whether it be bad or good. What was said, i don't really remember, because things like that don't bother me. I don't care if people talk about me behind my back. If they have beef with me, that's another thing. Ben and Adam are friends again, and since I never thought that we weren't friends, I didn't really have anything to say. I don't put all my shit out in the open. That's how I stay so calm and collected. It's not always good to let everyone know your thoughts. Some people, yes, but not the whole world. Please. My job in life is to keep the peace, and make sure everyone's happy. If you're happy, I'm happy. Everyone else is semi-ok now, excapt Scott Show. Something is there that he's not telling. He's studying to be a psychologist, so he likes to fuck with people's minds, and I really like that. I won't ever let him know what he wants. I can play mind games too. I'm good at it. Really good. I have learned from the greatest. My dad.

On another front, looks like yet another year without a valentine. This makes 20.

Scott M called me today, just to read to me about what he had written in his computer. He kept a journal when he had it working last year, during About Face. Scott is a really good writer. I wish I could write as well as he. It is crazy though when I think about it. In one year, I have gone from an immature, naive kid to a semi-mature man. Or young man. I'm not a man yet. I still have alot of growing and learning to do.

I miss home. Really bad. I don't have a dime to get back though. I should win the lottery. Or a few thousand dollars. haha. Yeah right. With my luck, I'll win a lifetime supply of debt. Haha.

There are still no boys in my circle. The longest stint of time ever. Haha. Well, maybe not ever. But I'm doing very well. I've been having some crazy dreams recently though. Even those I can't post here. Woah. Yes. They are that crazy.

Well, back to work it is. I really REALLY want a computer. I can wait until August though. Only 6 more months.

List

So I must tell of the last 2 days. yesterday, nothing much happened, except it was the day of the hotties. Haha. but the day before...

1) Went to work
2) Got off of work, to go Helena to see
3) Monster
4) We missed the 8:00 show, so we
5) Picked up Rohan and
6) decided to go to dinner.
7) We drove around for an hour deciding where to go
8) We decided to just get hot dogs and nachos from the
9) Movie theater.
10) So we parked. In a really good spot. We didn't however,
11) know that we couldn't park there.
12) The movie was awesome.
13) I was impressed.
14) I know this is gay, but
15) I cried.
16) Okay, not really, but I wanted to
17) After the movie, we planned to go to the
18) Royal.
19) Yes, I know, but I needed an uplifter after that movie.
20) We walked out to the car only to find...
21) ...This is for suspense...
22) It wasn't there.
23) Yes, we had been towed.
24) Damn.
25) We met some HOT police officers, who gave us the number to the
26) POUND
27) Then we had to trek over there.
28) 'Twas not a short trek, and it was snowing.
29) I was cold.
30) Oh yes, I should mention
31) I was the only one with money
32) So I bailed her car out.
33) It was not cheap.
34) At all.
35) Well, we got lost, because the people SUCKED at giving directions.
36) We then went to Clark's, where I saw a
37) really, Really, REALLY
38) cute guy.
39) I didn't do anything, of course.
40) I should have, but I couldn't. I just couldn't.
41) I then went home, and went to bed, dreaming of guys.
42) How lovely is the life I lead!


PS. I love Mary Poppins.

Late.. Again..

I have got to stop being late for work. That's a huge flaw I have. sad times.

The conversion rate for British Pounds is $1.87 per pound. that's horrible. It's just flat out sad.

Progress

Feb. 5, 2004.-

"The Massachusetts high court ruled Wednesday that only full, equal marraige rights for gay couples--rather than civil unions-- are constitutional, clearing the way for the nation's first same-sex marraiges in the state (and country) as early as May."

-Chicago Trubune.

Wow. One small step for man, one giant leap for gaykind.

I talked to Christy, Alanna, Becky, AND Chad last night. Wow. what a night. It was awesome. I miss y'all soo much. I can't wait to talk to you again. Much love to all of you.

One down.. 49 more..

From:CNN Breaking News
To:topherlayne@mac.com
Date:Tue Feb 03, 2004 06:01:07 PM CST

Subject:
CNN Breaking News

-- Sen. John Edwards will win the South Carolina primary, CNN projects.

Whaa-hoo!!

Media Today..

Read this article. It's a good article, but look at it again. It has nothing to do with what the whole topic of the article is. It started as a white-powdery substance found in the Senate. Then the writers went crazy. They had to break down where a substance called ricin originates. Damn. No one ever said it was anything, and they had to go on telling of the horrors that a ricin fillet dart did to a man.

"WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Preliminary tests on a white, powdery substance found in the mailroom of Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist indicate the presence of the deadly substance ricin, a Homeland Security official said Monday.

A U.S. Capitol police spokeswoman said the department is investigating the matter but would not comment on the substance found, saying only that preliminary tests were positive for a "hazardous substance."

The substance is to be tested further at the Army research laboratory at Fort Detrick, Maryland.

The Homeland Security official, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said those results could be back as soon as Tuesday.

Authorities said people should stay clear of the south side of the fourth floor of the Dirksen Senate Office building.

The substance was found about 3 p.m., and authorities were contacted.

Capitol police said there was nothing overtly suspicious about the envelope -- except for the powdery substance that fell out. Sgt. Contricia Sellers-Ford said there was nothing threatening or otherwise noteworthy about the letter inside the envelope.

She said the envelope was "clipped," meaning it was run through a machine that irradiates all the mail that comes to Capitol Hill -- standard procedure ever since the 2001 anthrax attacks.

Five people died and 13 others were sickened in four states and the District of Columbia when anthrax-laced letters were sent to two U.S. senators and a number of media outlets.

Two of the dead were postal workers who were infected while processing mail. No one has been arrested in connection with the anthrax case.

Authorities stressed the ricin results were preliminary and that field tests often prove unreliable. They also pointed out that though ricin is an effective weapon against a single person, it is difficult to use against large numbers of people at once.

Ricin is a natural, highly toxic compound that comes from castor beans, used to make castor oil. It can be inhaled, ingested or injected.

There is no known antidote, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. One milligram of ricin, a dose the size of the head of a pin, can kill an adult.

If inhaled, ricin can cause death in 36 to 48 hours from failure of the respiratory and circulatory systems.

If ingested, it causes nausea, vomiting and bleeding of the stomach and intestines, followed by failure of the liver, spleen and kidneys, and death by collapse of the circulatory system.

Injected ricin immediately kills the muscles and lymph nodes near the site of the injection. Failure of the major organs and death usually follows, the CDC said.

In a notorious Cold War assassination, Bulgarian dissident Georgi Markov, living in London, England, was killed in 1978 by a poison dart filled with ricin and fired from an umbrella.

In October, traces of ricin were discovered inside a small metal container in an envelope at a postal handling facility in Greenville, South Carolina. With the poison was an "angry, unsigned note." (Full story)

Several U.S. agencies are offering a reward of up to $100,000 for information leading to the arrest and conviction of those responsible.

The Dirksen building was one of the buildings affected by the anthrax mailings in 2001. Its offices were closed for days while authorities cleaned its mailroom. "



What has America come to these days. Everything has to be a panic. They need to get their asses back to the ground and fix this motherfucking economy. You don't see Sweeden, France, and all these other countries panicing, or publicizing this shit. That's because they want to keep it on the DL. I mean damn. Why get people worried over nothing. Come up with something conclusive bitch! It doesn't make any sense. Get the fuck over Janet Jackson's breast. I mean wow. It was a mistake. We're having money sucked right out of us every day. People are starving over here. We are in a pointless war. Come back to earth. I know the entertainment issue, but for real. Janet Jackson has a life too. It was humorous and embarrasing, but it was a mistake. Damn. Hello.. You can't place blame on a mistake. So a little boy watching the game with his dad saw a nipple. Wow. I'm sure he'll see plenty of shit in his life. America needs to loosen up, and buckle down. Paradox, I know, but still. I'm sure you can understand what I mean.

I'm going to go help Ben finish cleaning his house, then go to laundry.

Scott Show

I like Scott Show. He's a great guy. I want to go home so bad. I miss everyone so much. I miss y'all. Yes. This means you. I don't want to leave anyone out. I miss EVERYONE. From High School, to Peace (and yes. I miss every member there. I mean it.) I miss everyone at Madstone, and Wilsons, the Gap, and every other place I have worked. Ya'll made me who I am today. Thanks. That really means alot to me. I'm smiling at all of the things I have learned from each and every one of you. You have all given me stories to tell. Just about my life. It doesn't matter how mundane I think my life is, other people love it. Because I'm different. I have had different experiences with each and every one of you. Thanks. For everything.

Smile! You're different! Love who you are! Let other people love it about you!!!

and pay your bills.

Mundane life.

yay for the souper bowl. Haha. I hope the Panther's win. I was just up at Nicole and Ross's, and I was bored. The game was on, so I decided I'd entertain myself. I actually got into the game. Really into it. Like I stayed for a quarter and a half. In that whole time,

Ben (my roomate) came home to get ready to go to Cozumel.
Ben (my old roomate) got ready to go out with some random guy

and that's about it. Haha.

I want to go out. By myself though? No.

Haha

Hello!

I got trashed last night. It felt really good. Well not really good as in I want to do it every night, but I woke up this morning feeling great. These past weeks have been really good for me. Yaay rah. For that. I have decided. Too many people read my blog. I'm going to be one of those famous people who gets shit thrown in his face. I don't care. If people hate me that much, there must be some reason. I would hope that they would tell me, and we could work something out, but I don't know. No, nothing is going wrong, but I just realized that many people do read this. My counter is going crazy. That could just be all of mah friends looking at the page, but I don't know... A journal's a journal. Whatev. I'm going to go to sleep now.

If you want to read a funny story, read Scott Show's journal. I am a funny guy. It wasn't all my idea though. He just put it all on me. Haha. My life is funny, and sad too, but still.