Oh shit.

I forgot about the Employee stock plan I'm enrolled in. That's 7% out of my paycheck. It was 10%, but I had to change that. I want to stay in ESPP, so let's see. if I save $450 every month for 7 months, then I'll have $3150, and I'll have stock in Apple.

okay. this is what my plan is:

so I make approx. $1455 a month, before taxes. After taxes, this rate is about 1250 a month.

400 goes to rent,
50 goes for my phone
100 for groceries (I'm trying to make that smaller, because I'm working all the time, so I shouldn't have to buy as many groceries)
100 for bills.

when I go to Harold Washington, I'll have a U-pass. Thank the Lord in heaven, because that means I will save SO much money on traveling. About 80 bucks.

that's 650 dollars.

Tha means I have 600 a month left over.

500 has to go to the bank. so that means every month, I'm going to be living on $100.

That's it.

I am going to be a poor ass man for the next 6 months. It'll be all in good goodness, because I'll have SO much money by July. I'll be happy man. I'll be able to afford any and everything. I can do this.

OH NO!!! but OH YES at the same time...

Here's the deal:

School~ I am not going to Columbia this semester, but I am enrolling into Harold Washington College, one of the CCC, to get the rest of my gen. eds done. I can take 20 hours for $900, and they will ALL transfer. That means I will have one more gen. ed to take when I get back to Columbia, and that also means I will be able to get my bachelor's before I turn 21. That was my goal.

Going Home~ I still want to go home, yes, but I may have to prolong going, since HWC starts in January, and Columbia in Feb.

This is what I want to do though.

Work~ I am still working full time at Apple. Nothing's going to change there. Same with Cinema/Chicago.

ETC.~ I am directing/producing/filming a documentary on TonCowat, a theater company here in Chicago, whose name is going to be big in a couple of years. You watch out. It's going to be awesome. Think of Robert Altman's The Company, mixed with those documentaries you see about Cirque de Soliel on Bravo, and then downscale it about 8 times. Although we'll have good equipment, the money isn't there.. yet.. just 6 more years.... (sidenote) if you are reading this, please be advised that you will be recieving a letter from my production company (whose name will not be reavealed yet) soon about fundage on our first major film.

Boys~ I'm stupid for even putting this title on here. Haha. Like there are any. Well not any that like me at least. It's okay. I think I have too much on my hands as I type.

money progress $3 in the bank. Only $2997 to go in 196 days. I can do it.

Guess who I just met?!

David Schwimmer. yes, Ross from Friends.

My family leaves today. How sad the world is. I am for real really really sad. I am so glad they came up here though. I have to admit, it was one of the best Christmas' ever. To spend Christmas, in CHICAGO, one of the greatest cities in the US, with your family, is something everyone should experience. It has been fabo. Shopping, my family meeting my friends, the whole works. Truly, fun times for all. I can't wait for them to come up again.

On another note, I have decided that next year, I'm living by myself. I'll save so much money, and I'll be able to actually get things done without the hassle of roomates, I won't have to worry about what anyone thinks or says, and I can have people over as much as I want. I am so excited.

For a third note, I need to find someone to go with to this stupid store party next sunday night.

Yeah, so I called my mom when I was on break at lunch, and guess what I found out?

She'll be here at 12:30.

That's exactly 2 and a half hours after I get off of work.

I am so excited!!

guess what though?!?!?!?!

I still have to clean up after my gathering on Sunday!

Oh yes, and my mom doesn't know that she's cooking for my friends at work tomorrow night. Haha. that sucks, doesn't it?

i can't believe they are actually like COMING HERE TO CHICAGO!

at least it'll take my mind off of Hudson. I can't wait for my friends to meet them. I just can't wait.

I know I am taking this way too far out of hand, but it's because I'm still a little inebriated from the beer I had earlier.

I just spent an amazing two hours with an amaxing man who is often called NOSDUH. Haha backwards. Try that one for a change. We just chillaxed at his little place, and talked. Fun times were had, and laughs were shared. Guess what?

I DIDN'T FOOL AROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I knew I wasn't going to, because he's probably way too out of my league, but still. I mean i've spent time with him before, but tonight was awesome. I can't wait until he gets back, and we can hang out more, starting Sunday. FUn times for all. I like him. I mean I have always liked him, but still. We won't go that far. I am going to try to take it as slow as possible. Fun times. It was a beautiful night.

Before mr H, I hung out with Zaidy and Ben. 'Twas fun times too.

Time for sleep, for much is to be done on the morrow.

Night.

Things I did on my day off today:

A TON

I got up, cleaned, cashed my paycheck, and went off on a whirlwind of shopping. I spent waay too much money, but it's more than worth it. I love my friends. Tomorrow I'm having a gift exchange for them. I am so happy. This is the first year ever where I truly DON'T want anything. I mean for real. When I was shopping today, I almost started crying because I know that these gifts will bring so much happiness to my friends here in Chicago. These are the first friends that I have outside of home, and I made them all myself. You know? It's a big deal to me. I mean I know that they know that I love them, but it's just going to be nice. Real nice. Everyone will have a smile on their face, and no one will be sad. Well, at least for tomorrow night. That's my main goal. I really thought about all of these gifts, and I hope they are the right ones. I'll list all the stiff I got for everyone.

We'll start with the girls:

Sarah: I got her a gift certificate to Virgin, and a book. The gift certicifate, because we are both the same when it comes to picking out movies. It takes us HOURS. Everyone who has been shopping with us knows it. The book, because Sarah and I always talk about how we should read more, but we don't have the time to find a book. Well I found one for her, and now she'll make the time to read it.

Danielle: I got her a brand new insence holder, and some awesome insence to go along with it. She loves meditation, and calming the body and mind, and this new holder is much better than her old one, and the insence is supposed to be really good, and relaxing. It is all natural, and Danielle, being a vegan, will appreciate that.

Kisha: I didn't know what to get her at first, because she's a really hard girl to pick out something for. But when I was in this amazing shop tonight, I saw the perfect thing for her: a hand-made candle holder, by a lady whose comapny name is "One Girl Dancing". I immediatley thought of her, because in any circumstance, Kisha will be the one girl dancing. Her being a coreographer, she can pick out steps and beats to anything. The candle and holder symbolize that.

Janielle: Aww Jannelle Belly. I love her. We have so much in common, and I always love talking to her. The thing she ALWAYS notices when I come over wearing my Chucks, she always says that she wanted the high top ones like I have, because she only has the low-tops. So, I got her the high top ones.

Zaidy: Kisha and I both went in halves on getting a bong for Zaidy. I had to get more than just that because I just did. because Zaidy ALWAYS smells good, even when she hasn't taken a shower in a week, I got her this aromathearapy candle which smells AMAZING. I know she'll love it. She has been having issues with her roomate, so this will help ease the tension and calm her down.

Taryn: I got her a beer mug with her name on it, because that girl LOVES to drink, and she always says that one day she just wants to bring her own mug to bars and only drink out of one. Well there you go hun.

Helena: I am getting her some leather motorcycle gloves for her new motorcycle. She complains about them being cold, so I got her some. She'll love them.


Now the boys:

Scott: I was going to get him a vibrating butt-plug, but I didn't. Since he went to culinary school, and he always complains that he never cooks anymore, I bought him a reason to. A new cooking set with utensils, and as a joke, a box of brownies, so he can make them tomorrow at the party.

Rohan: I bought him some rainbow-colored slippers, and a scarf. He's really really big into activism, and equal rights, and rainbows, and he knows I make fun of him for it, but he also knows that I respect him alot for it. He'll get both instances. He's the only one that I could ever give that present to.

Ben: He's the ONLY person who I was just going to ask him to pick something and I would get it. I lived with him. I know how picky he is. I hate getting gift receipts, so I asked him flat out what he wanted. His first answer was pot, and I was going to get him an eighth or so, but he needed a new hitter, so I got him that. He'll love it, I know, because we looked at them the other week, and that's the one he picked out.

Corey: Corey is the first to admit he is superficial, and is an image-whore. The other day he was complaining about his eyebrow plucker not working, and so I got him a REALLY nice one. He doesn't shave, wax, or thread, so I got him this one, and he'll love it. Since I don't see him often, this is the first thing that came to mind, with him being away at college and all.

OH SHIT. I need to get something for Dan.

I also got some cards for everyone in the Cinema/Chicago office, and at work.

It was a wondrous day. Now I have to sleep, for I have to go to work in the morn. g'nite kids.

Yaay for days off.

What I did on my day off today:

ABSOLOUTLEY NOTHING.

and I planned on doing so much. I called in sick to my internship, and I was going to clean the apartment all day, in preperataion of my family coming. well that didn't happen. First of all, I'm sick, so I was thinking I would self-nurse myself back to a good health. I slept until about six, woke up, took an amazing shower, planned on going out, but didn't, went back to sleep, drank some Orange juice, Grant called, talked to him for about 40 minutes, his phone ran out, so I'll call him later. I still haven't cleaned, but I'll do that tomorrow. I'm Christmas shopping all afternoon.

I did three great things today:

One: I decided I'm writing a book. I know what it's about, but it's going to be awesome.

Two: I made out a plan to where I can have three thousand in the bank by August. I will stick to it.

Three: I made my Christmas list complete.

Your's Truly just sold Harry Connick Jr. 2 (yes 2) computers.

Me and myself.

Of course I talked with him. what kind of question is that? we talked for about 40 minutes...

The life of an Apple Employee

http://money.cnn.com/best/bplive/

Cary NC. Tops the list, yet again.

Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King...

two words.

A-Mazing.

http://www.joyoftech.com/joyoftech/joyarchives/502.html

go there. it's entertaining.

1. Copy this whole list into your journal.
2. Bold the things that you have in common with me.
3. Whatever you don't bold, replace with things about you.

01. I turn 21 in the year 2005
02. I wear unscented deoderant
03. I work at the biggest Apple store in the country
04. I have never been in a serious or unserious realationship
05. I can never decide which season I like the best.
06. I want a tatoo of a reel of film and an old tripod.
07. I have a unique fashion.
08. I overthink everything.
09. I drank my first beer last night
10. I like to shop at thrift stores.
11. I like to get baked.
12. I love big cities.
13. I love the country.
14. Margaret Cho is really funny..
15. I am a huge procrastinator.
16. I just ate way too many peanut M&M's.
17. I lie about stupid things.
18. I have a lot to learn.
19. I miss people.
20. I sometimes like to watch the rain and think.
21. I long to have focus in my life.
22. I love plants.
23. I love hugs.
24. I've lived in 12 different houses.
25. I should start going to the gym.
26. I should save more money
27. I started doing this because I am at work.
28. I take life much too seriously sometimes.
29. I need to sleep.
30. I love the smell of clean laundry.
31. I have a not-so-secret-anymore obsession with pop music.
32. I can beat up Bert Kennerson
33. I am addicted to friendster, livejournal/blogger, and aim.
34. I want to go back to Alaska.
35. I love to get high and have intellectual conversations.
36. I hate wearing socks to bed.
37. I hate dramatic people.
38. I am a dramatic person.
39. My immune system can kick your immune system's ass.
40. I am really personable
41. I really enjoy thoughtful gifts, even if they cost nothing.
42. I want to study in England sometime during my college career.
43. I love blankets.
44. I KNOW HOW TO KNIT
45. I can get lonely at times.
46. I hate impersonal greeting cards.
47. I dislike female feminists who reject male feminists.
48. I hate straight-edgers.
49. I always loved the show daria, but people who try too hard to act like her irk me.
50. I love my family more than anything else.
51. I feel bad for Michael Jackson.
52. I love to share booze.
53. I love to find anything in my coat pockets.
54. I like to drink champagne.
55. I love the rain.
56. I write a book someday
57. I am loved
58. I love to eat.
59. I want to go to France
60. I feel much better about myself when I actually am motivated and get things done.
61. I don't like not knowing what's going on, especially in regards to my personal life.
62. My family is crazily large.
63. I overreact about things sometimes.
64. I love to smile
65. I want to stand in a large field on a cool cloudy day and scream.
66. I love to drink.
67. I dont like to be alone all the time.
68. I wish I bothered to learn piano.
69. I hate sleeping alone.
70. I have a love/hate relationship with everything.
71. Christmas is always exciting.
72. I hate to see pot go to waste.
73. I like to think i'm not pretentious, but sometimes i am.
74. I need a break.
75. I pass notes.
76. I love research papers.
77. I need to start reading like I used to.
78. I love Italian food.
79. I appreciate proper grammatical usage, but don't mind misuse.
80. I like boys.
81. I'm not sure how I lose money.
82. I love to save money.
83. I love driving with friends with nowhere to go
84. I ignore grades.
85. I wish I wouldn't lose everything always.
86. Sometimes I think to myself, "What are you doing here?"
87. I have a secret love of bright colors.
88. I prefer it when people give me special treatment on my birthday.
89. I can't stand it when people are obsessed with how awful they think they look.
90. I can't stand it when people are obsessed with how good they think they look.
91. I do both of the above.
92. I wish I weren't allergic to anything.
93. I am a really good lier.
94. I love to laugh.
95. I love to look in to the sky.
96. I am extremely true to the description of my zodiac sign in some ways, but in others I am the polar opposite.
97. I love soft, warm things.
98. I am glad that I was able to get a completely fresh start in college.
99. I think this survey is long.
100. I vote yes on gay marriages

Oh shit. yes shit.

Okay. this is why I have so many issues. It's because I don't say no to people. So we all know about my fiascos with Mr. Cihlar, right? that would be Mark. Yes, the older one. well. Peep this.

There's another.

what the fuck. I should stop giving out my cards. I should have figured that it would have happend. He came in three days in a row to buy something speciffically from me. I should know the routine. But I don't, because I happily gave him my card, and of course it had my email address on it and everything. What the fuck is wrong with me.

So, of course, I get an email from him, that's about seventeen pages long.

This guy has to be older than Mark. I should Google him. He went about crazy, and I have all of his contact info. He doesn't want me to miss him at all.

Should I reply to his email?

I feel bad if I don't, even though I'm in no way shap or form attracted to him.

I wrote this at home today, before I went to work, because we don't have internet anymore, because josh hasn't paid the bill.

As I sit here listening to Fiona Apple, an hour and a half before I got to work, I am going to analyze my life. It'll make me happier. not that I'm sad, I'm not. I'm just not satisfied with the way things are going. Why? I don't know.

Yeah, that's a good way to put it.

Okay. Where am I going to start?

Well first of all, I am 99% sure that I am not going to Sundance. I can't afford to not have any money when I get back from the festival. i don't want to get burned out on work though. You know? I think I want to be a waither, and work at the Apple store. That would be pretty cool, wouldn't it? I think so. I need to make more money. Well I don't really need to make more, I just need to learn how to save it. After Christmas, i won't have anything really to spend moeny on, so I'll be able to save a chunk of money. hopefully a good chunk.

School: I am going back, but I can't go back this semester. Unlike most people, i am paying for school myself, and the fact of the matter is, my parents won't cosign for loans. so I have to either get grants, or pay off a chunk at a time, but I can't start another year until the first is paid off. Being only 19, (but I feel so much older) I don't yet have any real established credit, so that's not going to get me anywhere. The government will only give me so much. I have to say here in Chicago though. I'm not moving anywhere until I finish school.

Apartment: It's fine, although I am never here. It's too far out of the way to things. That's why I can't wait to live out of downtown. Not that i hate it, it's just there's more things for me up north. It'll be eaiser up there.

Oh yes, before I forget, I must tell of my dreams last night... Well of the last coupld of nights. First of all, I had a dream about one of the guys here at Apple. At the Genius Bar. Those are the only guys in the whole store who i don't know all that well, because we don't really associate with one another. they do their things at the bar, and we do ours on the salesfloor. I mean I know a few of them, but not all 16. Well, I have had 2 dreams about a particular one I don't know. I dont' know why, because I don't know him, but let's just say that I know him in more than one way when I'm dreaming. I laugh at myself out loud whenever I see him, because I do'nt think he's that hot or attractive, but I surely do have some dreams about him. But onto my dreams of last night. Well as we all know, I have an ongoing thing for David (well not so much as it used to be, now I'm obsessed with Joe, a guy at work, but we won't go there.) who is about to go to London for the next six months, which really sucks like ass. Anyways, my dream was about him last night. I was supposed to be metting him somewhere, (don't really remember where) but I was running souper late. We would send text messages, and call each other, me always telling him of my status and ETA. Finally, I arrived, and he was on his way out, but he stayed longer just for me. Well, wel talked, and I don't really remember what happend after that, because something woke me up. SUCKS. When i went back to sleep, I was at CHURCH. Yes, we all know which one. Peace. But it didn't look like Peace. Guess who was in that dream though? Someone I haven't seen in about 2 years.

Nope, not him.

One more guess, and not Eric Hamilainen.

You'll never guess.

Okay.

JONATHAN PIERCE.

Shit. Now whod'a thunk my brain would just go on a damn tangent and dream about his ass? Shee. I didn't repsect myself when I woke up. He was still questioning his sexuality (I don't know if he was ever questioning his sexuality, but you can't get mad at me for my thoughts), and I was the one to bring him to (if you know what I mean). It wasn't a sexual dream though, get your head out of the gutter you little bloggeroo. I'd still do it, so I think. then again, I don't know if I want to see him naked. Haha. Anyways, that was the extent of my dreaming last night.

Speaking of last night, let's tell of the events which took place.

Let's start with yesterDAY, shall we? I was called into work. I went in at about 11, and stayed until three thirty. Joe was there. Aww. He's so cute. I'd like to get to know him better (if you know what I mean). I think we hit on each other discreetly all the time. Like when he comes up to the cash wrap with a customer, he'll tell them about how great I am, and not just in a nice cute way. he pours it on heavy, while winking ALL the time. He's good.

He know's I'd be blushing if I could.

Joe probably has the nicest behind of all the guys who work at the store. That's the the point of the story though. After work, me roomate Benjamin picked me up, and we strolled aroung Michigan Ave. and other shops, etc. We went to American Girl to see Kisha and Zaidy, who were just about to get off work. I remembered I promised Gera that I'd see him. I mean i did want to see him, because i needed to tell him that I can't let things between us go any further. I can't date him. He wouoldn't click with my friends, and I don't think we click. Those are two important things. So we went to dinner, and I know this is SO wrong, but I had Zaidy call me for an out. Boy did she. It was the greatest story ever told. She said her boyfriend and her just broke up, ebcause he hit her, and so forth. She had me believing her for a minute, then I remembered she didn't have a boyfriend. It was GOOD. I think Gera got a little upset, because we were supposed to go to his house and drink wine and cheese, and a little more, but I can't. I couldn't go all the way to Hyde Park, and not have a way to get back, because I have no money, besides the four dollars in the bank. I have to walk to work today, and that's awesome, because I need to loose weight anyways. That means I have to leave in about 20 minutes! shit! And I haven't even said what I wanted to say! I got back home, and it was fun, hung with Benjamin, Zaidy, Kisha, and Sarah, and fun times. I'll tell of the other things we did (in our house) later. It was Ben's idea. I had good sleep though. Amen to that.

Relationships: (shit I dont have anymore time, so i'll have to finish later) I'll keep you posted. later gator.

Oh yeah, I'm starting a production company. We're starting with plays that we've written, and we're going to put them on. That's Danielle and I's New Year's resoloution. Along with me having at least three grand in the bank by June, And all of my debt paid off by September.

I'm at work. Watched Pitates of the Carribean last night with Scott. It wasn't that great.

I don't think I'm going to go to Sundance anymore. I mean I know it's like an amazing experience, but I can't afford the rent for February. Anyways, I think I have to think about it more. I'll figure out something.

I'm in a great mood today though! Yaay for good moods! I don't have any money, but that's besides the point. Things are going pretty well for me.

I saw three really hot guys on the way to work today. They were staring at me. I was wondering if I had something on my face or something. I don't know.. We'll see.

I don't like Gera. I have decided. I mean I can't do it. He's a great guy, but I don't feel anything more than friends. Although he's the first guy who I've come close to having sex with. we were REALLY close.

I didn't know Rich still read my blog. Haha. He had to make sure that I knew that he knew that I was a slut. Haha. Fun times. YOU know what? Rich started his blog on my birthday. Interesting huh?

I'm hanging out with Laura and Olivia right now. I'm not going to see them for TOO long. I love them so much. So so so so so so so so so much. That sucks. BUT I'm GOING TO NC SOON! Fun times for all!

We're about to go to dinner, and then do whatever.

How do I pull the plug with Gera? Any ideas?

And so it goes...

Okay. So we got new guys at work, right? Well, I guess my gaydar is FUCKED. David, who I am still pretty sure is gay, I'm beginning to wonder, because I just am. It's weird when you come into contact with people outside of work. He's not the same. He's not weird. No he's really cool, but I think he's not out. We need to work on that. FUCK. I totally gave him my website last night, I wasn't thinking. I was loosening up, because I had had 2 hits. SHIT. I hope he doesn't remember.

Chase is hot. He talks about hot guys. Interesting. He's got nice legs, and a Hugh Jackman feel about him. He's got a girlfriend though. He also loves sex. I bet he's good in bed.

Anyways, I went out with them, then to one of David's friends house, then Scott called me to go to dinner, and we did, but he wasn't feeling too hot, and I wanted to go back to play Trivial Persuit, butScott wasn't feeling it, and I was getting tired too, so we went back to his house and went to sleep. I should have called David and them, but I didn't. sad times. I'll go stop by to see them real quick before I go to Meg's, then to Laura's, then to hang out with Gera I guess, although I should just tell him the truth, and say I don't want to date him.

I want to date someone closer to my age, or someone who's involved in my life, like that would actually hang out with me, and not me leaving my friends to go hang out with them. That's what I want. Yeah.

I want to throw a Christmas Party.

Saturday night sucked. i was supposed to meet that guy, but he didn't show, because he was at a party. Fun times for him.

Sunday was awesome. I slept so well, and got up, spent the whole day with Danielle and Kiesha. We did sone fun times things for all. Amen to that.

Then we had a night of fun times. We bought so much food and ate it all (because we had the munchues for some odd reason.. hmmm.. wonder what that was?

Then Monday, I just got up to relax and read. My dad called me. Fun times for that. Went to Scott's after work. Chilled there.

Got up this morning. Went to work. I'm there now. I'm going to go home in 4 hours.

Then read and relax I think. Depends. whatev.

I gotta poop now, so I shall talk to you later

Yet another great slogan from 'the Slogan Generator' (it's the 'hours of fun' link to your left)

Be Young, Have Fun, Drink Christopher.

I may not have time later to type this, so i am typing it on my break here at work. i want to get this posted ASAP.

MY NIGHT

DECEMBER 6 5:13AM

OH MY DAMN! Okay. so I just got back into my apartment. This is the story of my night.

I got home from work. Went to Sarah's. Tried to find pot from jenn U, but she doesn't smoke anymore. so I visited her anyways w Kisha, b/c she needs headshots, and Jenn is a photographer. SHit. I have to work at 12:30 tomorrow. But then we went back to Sarah's, and drank wine and Squirt (don't knock it til you try it). Then, guess who calls? DAVID. motherfucking David R. yes. The souper hot boy. so he really likes me, or so i get from his friends. BUT, he's got this HOT friend named Ross. Ross works with david at Marshall Fields. I know. BIG SOUPER HUGE MISTAKE before I even thought about it. But you know me. I am STUPID. So I go to Ross' (who by the way lives in MY building) and I meet david's friends. The were all dancing to Ms. Spears (yes, britney) when i got there. I start talking (it's like 1:30 now) David and I start fooling around, you know, dancing, groping, touching, etc. Then we sit down, and he sits ON MY DICK. Well in my lap, but we all know what he was aiming for. He was going to TOWN. I was like DAMN. it was fun times. The he's like "do you want to go to the bathroom?" i was like "sure" but we totally didn't go to the bathroom, we went to ROSS' BEDROOM instead. Shit shit. Yes, we went to TOWN. talk about take it to the HOUSE and MOUTH. I know. Shit.

BUT ONLY IF IT ENDED THERE!!!

Well, guess who walks in?! Well, no. not Ross, (well not yet at least) but some of david's friends. we were obviously having fun times, but it was totally one of those, where everyone ignores it, like nothing happend. So, they leave, and we go at it again. well, yes, guess who walking in this time... ROSS. Of course. FUCK. caught. But you know, he shruggs it off. So we all go into the living rom, and dance, drink, and lounge. it's about 3:00 now. People start getting tired. I was on the couch, and David was on me, and everyone else wanting to get in on the action. David sits next to me, and I motion for Ross. FUCK ME I AM A SLUT. I know. just by writing this down. anyways, Ross is on my left, and dave on the right, someone beside him, and two girls lying over everyone. I AM DOWN BOTH OF THEIR PANTS WITH MY HANDS. YES. at the same time. I have ISSUES. and neither of them KNEW. Well someone comes between David and I, so I get closer to Ross. A pillow is thrown at us, and Ross puts it over our laps, and we go at it.

ROSS GIVES THE BEST HANDJOBS EVER.

But that's not the end.

SHIT.

ANYWAYS, People start getting really tired, and conk the fuck out. David first. i know how hard he sleeps (I mean damn, I've slept with him 4 times.. and yes only slept.. for the most part) and I know he is not waking up. I went to the bathroom (this is like the 5th time) and come back and see people dead in the den. There were voices coming from Ross's room though.

UH OH.

so I walk in, and there are three people in his bed. 2 girls and him. I uttered "looks like a party" and ross said "let's see how many people can fit in my bed" so the four of us were on his TWIN bed. I was liking the close action (with Ross). so we started fooling around, and our pants were off and no one knew. one girl left because she was getting overheated. Ross went to the bathroom and got some HAND LOTION. I KNOW!

YES HE DID.

AND HE IS SO FUCKING GOOD AT HANDJOBS! SHIT! DAMN!

Then people woke up, and I put my number in his phone, and everyone went home. I got 2 goodnight kisses, and they didn't even know.

FUCK ME. I KNOW. I HAVE SO MANY ISSUES. HELL YES I DO!!!!!!!!!!

well, now I will go to bed, smelling like Ross and DAvid. david is now number one on my kissing list. I need to write this in my blog.


That's it.

i think Ayn Rand rocks my cock. I'm not too sure, but Fountainhead was great. I want to read Atlas Shrugged.

I have four books on my reading list.

Atlas Shrugged
City of Night
The Alan Cummings book
and Eragorn (that Christopher Plummet or whatever the hell that kid's who lives in the wilderness and writes his whole life and reminds me of mormons and the Amish name is.)

oh yes, I have a pseudo 'blind date' tomorrow. It might be tonight though. I have to call Ashley, the girl who is setting up the meeting.

All I know is his name, Jesse, and that he's souper cool (well that's what she says) we'll see about that.

The One I want:

I want a guy who can be my best friend, and my boyfriend at the same time. Someone who can get along with all of my friends, and not call me 24/7. Someone who can give me space if I need it, and someone I don't have to worry about screwing some other guy. Someone who I can stay up with all night talking about nothing and stupid shit, and not even have sex. A guy who'll come to parties with me. Someone I can get stoned with, and not feel bad. Someon who knows what they want in life, and knows how to get it, or is at least taking stepd in that direction. Someone who won't get jealous if I talk to another guy, because I'm not interested in the other guy to begin with anyways. Someone who can analyze porn with me. Someone I can cry on, and not feel like a total baby-loser-idiot. Someone who dresses nice, and takes my fashion advice. Someone I can go shopping with, and not get tired of me. Someone who kisses really well, and says exactly what's on his mind. Someone who will disagree with me, and defend his own viewpoints. Someone who loves to sing, but not necessarily well. Someone who can read music, and enjoy it. Especially Christmas music. and Hymns. Someone who knows how to cook, or at least would love to cook with me. A guy who isn't afraid to cry, and one that loves kids. Someone who likes to go to a sporting event, and the opera. A guy who likes to go camping, and isn't afraid to get sweaty. Someone who likes to take pictures, and has a beautiful smile. Someone who takes chances, and enjoys life. A man who will travel with me. One who loves to dress up and go out to dinner. A guy who will cuddle next to the fire with just me and a blaknet. A guy who looks good naked. And just as good with clothes on. A guy who commands the attention of a crowd when talking. A guy who isn't afraid to meet people. Someone that's okay with being seperated for short periods of time. Someone who knows about the world. And gives great head. Just an ordinary guy. Is that too much to ask?

Probably.

Well.. Yeah. That's what I wrote and concluded from tonight when I was with Laura.

You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be
poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and
creativity, and usually are highly intelligent.
Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet
also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs.


What Type of Soul Do You Have ?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yeeaaah. So I'm at work, and I have realized that I am fat. This cannot be. I swear I have gained about 60 pounds. My tummy doesn't look pretty anymore. I have decided that it's all going kaput. I wish I had a knife so I could just cut off my fat. Ew. I look like my dad when he was fat. That's a no-no. I don't respect myself. my break is in 15 minutes, and I shouldn't even get food, I should get some laxitives or soemthing. I really have gained weight. I don't look good naked anymore. It's not like that means anything, because people don't really see me naked, but still. Yeah, let me go eat now, it's 5:00 time for my break.

La La, La La Laaa... Warm it up...

So what's up? Nothing here. Well. I have been getting great sleep the last couple of nights. Not great dreams, but the sleep has been excellent. That's right. I want to get high tonight. maybe it will happen.

Oh yes. So, as we all know, I was talking about going to Sundance. Well....

I GOT AN INTERNSHIP THERE.

I start mid-January. I've already gotten off at Apple. boo yow. I have also come to another conclusion. I probablly won't go back to Columbia. Although it's great and amazing, I have debt there that I must pay back, and I can get into a better school. We'll see how things work over the next couple of months. Yes. I am finishing school. Not sure where yet. Maybe in Chicago, and depending on how things go at Sundance, maybe at AFI in LA. If I get in. We'll see.

I am paying back my debt. Then I will get a credit card, so I can pay for school, and not have to take out loans. I've got a really great bank that will hopefully loan me more than they usually would, but we're in talks about that.

Well, that's all for now. Oh yes, and Gera. I need to talk about that, but I haven't the time.

CHRISTMAS TIME IS HERE! that's souper cool. I can't wait to go home in Jan. woot.

Oh yeah, I saw the Station Agent last night.